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Old 03-04-2006, 05:56 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default There's No Need For Us To Be Alone

Tell me people what you think of this one. I need to know I'm any good at writing at all.

THERE'S NO NEED FOR US TO BE ALONE

I can't believe she said that
Can't believe it's true
Can't believe she's faithful,
She is wicked through and through
She's read too many books
She's had too many screws
Unfortunately I have fallen don't know what to do
When Spring turned to Summer, I swapped her for another
She drank herself stupid
Threw herself down the stairs
She put whiskey with her aspirin
My records in the dustbin
She pleaded me to take her back
I knew she would, I knew she would
Want without needing
Love without leaning
Hold without clinging
Don't suffocate, don't suffocate
She wore a coat too warm for summer
Socks too short for Winter
Shoes too scuffed for parties
And lipstick far too tarty
She wanted without needing
She loved without leaning
She held without clinging
But she suffocates, she suffocates
There's no need for us to be alone anymore
There's no need for us to be alone anymore
She wanted without needing
She loved without leaning
She held without clinging
She suffocates, she suffocates
She wanted without needing
She loved without leaning
She held without clinging
But she suffocates, she suffocates
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Old 03-04-2006, 07:30 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I think this is generally very good, although it'd be helpful if you visually seperated it into verse/chorus etc. for us. I would say though, that I'm not sure I understand the sentiment when the verse and chorus seem to contradict each other. Meaning:

In the later verses you seem to be saying that the girl is desperate, clingy and suffocating, whereas in the choruses you say that she doesn't lean, cling or need (but say that she suffocates again). This is a bit confusing.
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When Pete plays it is 100% live , your music if that's what you call it doesn't sound so good either? so you can't really critercize can you ?
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Old 03-04-2006, 11:26 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Im actually going to be honest and say i didnt write this. One of my friends wrote it along time ago. I really liked it so I took it from him. I think its good as it is to be honest. Ive tried to break it up into a chorus and verses but it doesnt sound the same! thanx for your opinion!
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Old 03-04-2006, 12:26 PM   #4 (permalink)
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You did tell him you took it, right?
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Old 03-05-2006, 09:45 AM   #5 (permalink)
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yeah of course I did!
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Old 03-05-2006, 12:22 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Oh ok good hahah

It's very good, a lot of unique lines in there, well done.
But yes, it should be broken down into parts...chorus, not chorus, etc...
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Old 03-05-2006, 12:28 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I liked this song.
Well done!...your friend did a good job.
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Old 03-06-2006, 02:23 AM   #8 (permalink)
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thanx for your comments on this song!
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