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Old 04-16-2006, 12:06 PM   #1 (permalink)
a l'amou fou pou tout
 
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Default Dont know what to do

I care too much for my own good
These emotions will be the death of me
I want to ship off from Emotion Island
Call me a coward if you please.

I look up to the stars for what to do
But the moon gets in the way of my view
I want to jump over this mocking moon
But I can’t shape shift into a cow.

Oh the catastrophe,
I want to sit down and cry oh god please
I don’t know what to do with myself.
Everything’s falling apart,
I just want to hide away my heart
I don’t know what to do with myself.

I can’t bring myself to move on forward
A meteor has struck down upon my feet
The impact bended my limbs the wrong way
Unfortunately my mind hasn’t gone a stray.

If I chanced to let you see a glimpse
I would grant Justin Timberlake that one wish
But if I dared to let it all show
I would take part in the apocalypse.


{not a song}
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Old 04-18-2006, 04:40 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Okay, well....the Justin Timberlake part I did not get one bit haha, do you like him or something?

Anyway, it's very straightforward...I liked what you tried to do with using metaphors with the sky and whatnot...but it's still, in my opinion, too straight.

Straight forward...is what I meant...not straight. I'm not a heterophobe.

HA!

Anyway..just more metaphors ;] I like the general theme, though.
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Old 04-18-2006, 04:49 PM   #3 (permalink)
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What is the Justin Timberlake angle?
I'm intrigued.

Not to keen on this imagery either;

A meteor has struck down upon my feet
The impact bended my limbs the wrong way

To some exotic booze...your rambling. Are you on drugs?
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Old 04-18-2006, 05:57 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I don't know.
I'm on diet coke...hA!
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Old 04-18-2006, 07:05 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Do you know Justin Timberlake's Cry me a river?...


For now, i want it to be straightforward
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Old 04-19-2006, 12:56 AM   #6 (permalink)
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if its not a song, may i ask what it is? other than that some bits i enjoyed, remove the timberlake stuff tho. i like vs 1,2,4
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Painstaking devotion and love
Surrendered to self preservation
From others who care for themselves
A blindness that touches perfection
But hurts just like anything else

Isolation, isolation, isolation
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Old 04-19-2006, 02:02 PM   #7 (permalink)
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a poem

yes, im working on the Justin Timberlake part, no worries.

Thanks for the comments.
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