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Old 05-02-2006, 09:33 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default been so long, I'm back.... : No Story Ends

something got me thinking how long the universe will last? but then again, it's might last forever, as long ppl keeping the universe alive... so enjoy ^_^

No Story Ends


I can see that you not what you seem
And I can believe that the fear get the best of us
No one know for sure until I get through
Time, I can tell but the clock hasn't start ticking
Find a place where we hide the source

I always carry on even though my
World half asleep
Doesn't matter where or when
Under the rain they weeps
Promises either can be made or can be broken
Dawn or dusk, sun will be awaken
Life has too much sadness and too much happiness
But it time to flip the page

Long ago when life are primitive the wars will never ends
The challenging in life is the battle of each mind
Pure has become impure and good has become evil it matter by the aura of the very spirit
It can't be understand by the two sides but commonly we know it has no ending whatsoever it just can't be stop and you know the saying
No story ends

People thought I'm legendary even though I'm not
I cannot be the best if few things can't be proved
Here I am sitting time to time on the black grassland as I feel the mood
In my mind, I know I'm desperate
In my heart it's the beginning of something new
Doesn't feel like it but that was it
But it time to rewrite the page

Short later when life not primitive, the wars always ends
The challenging in life is the battle of each hearts
Impure has become pure and evil has become good it matter by the aura of the very spirit
It can be understand by the two sides but commonly we don't know it has ending evermore it just can be stop and you know the saying
No story ever ends

As now I need to know
But the time like this I have to go
Days move on at speed of light
But as slowly when at night
Many things are opposite but commonly in the end they has no ending

Long ago when life are primitive the wars will never ends
The challenging in life is the battle of each mind
Pure has become impure and good has become evil it matter by the aura of the very spirit
It can't be understand by the two sides but commonly we know it has no ending whatsoever it just can't be stop and you know the saying
No story end

Long ago when life are primitive the wars will never ends
The challenging in life is the battle of each mind
Pure has become impure and good has become evil it matter by the aura of the very spirit
It can't be understand by the two sides but commonly we know it has no ending whatsoever it just can't be stop and you know the saying
No story ends

I can see that you not what you seem
And I can believe that the fear get the best of us
No one know for sure until I get through
Time, I can tell but the clock hasn't start ticking
Find a place where we hide the source….
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Old 05-02-2006, 09:48 PM   #2 (permalink)
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What.....a....great....long.....and......boring... ..story.

A huge waste of my time.
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Old 05-02-2006, 09:50 PM   #3 (permalink)
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what do you know, you haven't been doing this for 7 years, ah!
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Old 05-02-2006, 10:35 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Is this a joke? I'm not trying to be rude... but this seems like some sort of contrived gimmick. If it isn't I'm sorry... but... uh... I don't know - can I get an answer? If it isn't - try and pick up a little grammar crash course somewhere... tips you=your in some cases... I don't think I want to go and point them all out. I think it's somewhat odd that you can piece together some of the more complex thoughts ... I don't know...

However, if this is a real attempt at putting your songs/poetry up here for critique... you can't just shut down someone's critique by throwing an ambiguous number at them. How do YOU know he hasn't been doing this for 7 or more years? Be careful...
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Old 05-03-2006, 08:51 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Too damn long & it feels like your just blabbing away, not so much feeling. But if there is...well, i dont get no emotion from this. Cut this done or something.

And what do you know, you haven't been doing this for 7 years, ah!...c'mon mane, thats just a stupidass ****ed up thing to say. tsk tsk tsk
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Old 05-03-2006, 04:47 PM   #6 (permalink)
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the only way you get emotions by this is to be experience by this. I wrote this because its had been talks about.
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Old 05-04-2006, 07:09 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kyren Tsunami
the only way you get emotions by this is to be experience by this.
but mane, thats not the way it should be. if you really trying, then you should make it strong enough, so even the people who didnt go through this feels something. You want most people to get into it right? Not only 4 of 20 for example.


& again, for gods sake, cut this damn thing down to size, c'mon now.
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Old 05-06-2006, 08:01 PM   #8 (permalink)
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well, ppl just have different passions, for me I wrote 35 lyrics with emotions, moods, eperiences and predictiments. ppl learns what their ways to write, you can't assumed it's wrong, I wrote it this way, it's can't be wrong.
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Old 05-07-2006, 04:24 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Why have you missed out the endings to nearly every word? This is boring at best.
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Old 05-07-2006, 05:17 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kyren Tsunami
well, ppl just have different passions, for me I wrote 35 lyrics with emotions, moods, eperiences and predictiments. ppl learns what their ways to write, you can't assumed it's wrong, I wrote it this way, it's can't be wrong.
who said it's wrong....but its not interesting & what not either.
Obviously you just wanted us to praise your work, not give advice, so go somewhere with yourself.
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