Mister Man (techno, Kiss, song)

TrampInaTux · 05-01-2006, 01:26 PM

In the other world
the people treated him so nice
now he has returned
to the whinges of his wife
He loses his mind a second
then gets back to following orders
from everyone around him
pointing out his disorders

CHORUS
Try Mister Man to stay on plan
We know they aren't very nice
although when they try they can, can, can...

Go back to bed, Mister
don't worry they won't miss y'
strangers lips on your wife's
you never were a good kisser
in fact you aren't good at anything
except for paying for your wife to live
and where's that necklace you bought before?
Why it's on your brother's bedroom floor

CHORUS
Try Mister Man to stay on plan
We know they aren't very nice
although when they try they can, can, can...

This is very technoish... the beat I've got in my head at least. Let's just say I've tried something different. So I REALLY do need your thoughts on this one.

Crazy Luv · 05-01-2006, 01:33 PM

I like the verses, but i dont the chorus. overall, i like where you're going with this one.

swim · 05-01-2006, 02:41 PM

I like the story and the flow so, good job.

explosions-in-my-pants · 05-02-2006, 12:36 AM

its clear there is a story there, but i don't think it fits well as a song. but good try tho.

angel18 · 05-02-2006, 02:15 AM

i agree with crazy luv, the verses are good but i just dont like the chorus

05-01-2006, 01:26 PM	#1 (permalink)
TrampInaTux that's my war face. Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,418	Mister Man In the other world the people treated him so nice now he has returned to the whinges of his wife He loses his mind a second then gets back to following orders from everyone around him pointing out his disorders CHORUS Try Mister Man to stay on plan We know they aren't very nice although when they try they can, can, can... Go back to bed, Mister don't worry they won't miss y' strangers lips on your wife's you never were a good kisser in fact you aren't good at anything except for paying for your wife to live and where's that necklace you bought before? Why it's on your brother's bedroom floor CHORUS Try Mister Man to stay on plan We know they aren't very nice although when they try they can, can, can... This is very technoish... the beat I've got in my head at least. Let's just say I've tried something different. So I REALLY do need your thoughts on this one.

05-01-2006, 02:41 PM	#3 (permalink)
swim dontcareaboutyou Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: North Carolina Posts: 5,188	I like the story and the flow so, good job. __________________ http://nakednaps.bandcamp.com/

05-01-2006, 01:33 PM	#2 (permalink)
Crazy Luv a l'amou fou pou tout Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: NY Posts: 355	I like the verses, but i dont the chorus. overall, i like where you're going with this one.

05-02-2006, 12:36 AM	#4 (permalink)
explosions-in-my-pants angel of tragic days Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 924	its clear there is a story there, but i don't think it fits well as a song. but good try tho.

05-02-2006, 02:15 AM	#5 (permalink)
angel18 Music Addict Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 129	i agree with crazy luv, the verses are good but i just dont like the chorus