Dalley Arkway (Kiss, quote, 60s, song, Hang) - Music Banter Music Banter

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Old 07-28-2006, 04:50 AM   #1 (permalink)
that's my war face.
 
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Default Dalley Arkway

My wherabouts
unknown to you
the monkey that sits on your shoulder
isn't telling the truth
My broken home
lights turned off
Squeezing her throat like a lemon
I enjoy her splutters and coughs
Never mind
I sigh, oh well
Justice is a dish best served
with a side order of hell

CHORUS
Kiss me (Repeat x4)
Kiss me Kiss me, Kiss me

Under my coat
Beneath your dress
The monkey that sits on your shoulder
is just trying to impress
Speed and pain
Drive me insane
with lust, not love-well, love for the chase
Love for the game

CHORUS
Kiss me (Repeat x4)
Kiss me Kiss me, Kiss me

Ooo I forgot to add my thoughts on this song... basically it's a song about an insane bloke who hangs out in Dark Alleyways. It's messed up, it's not very nice, it's dark but c'mon...please like it
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Old 07-28-2006, 09:38 AM   #2 (permalink)
angel of tragic days
 
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I really like all of it besides the chorus. I think you shouold keep the first 'kiss me' and then where the other's are just put something else to repeat 4x times haha..but other then that i think its really good. Good Job!
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Old 08-04-2006, 09:25 PM   #3 (permalink)
dontcareaboutyou
 
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It's oddness is appealing.
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Old 08-04-2006, 09:49 PM   #4 (permalink)
Ace
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I think it could have potential.....I'd just change monkey, to bird. Maybe add a line about how the bird whispers in the person's ear. Overall it's nice.
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Old 08-04-2006, 10:43 PM   #5 (permalink)
w0rd
 
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This has more of a 60's type feel to it, I mean squeezing her throat like a lemon? and the chorus... I like all of it, but just those lines, keep the chorus if you want but that lemon one just erks me Good job anyway
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Old 08-05-2006, 12:10 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blainka
This has more of a 60's type feel to it, I mean squeezing her throat like a lemon? and the chorus... I like all of it, but just those lines, keep the chorus if you want but that lemon one just erks me Good job anyway
you mean liek van morrison, mama's and the papas, 60s hippy love summer thing...
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