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Old 02-05-2007, 10:27 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default The Hills above the clouds

In the trappings of the night
we have arrived

Where they've broken all the mirrors
and criticism runs like rivers

It gets bent out of shape here
And mortal beings can dissapear
These numbers will shine pure and clear
And oh as the sound distorts
My hands reach for an angel of sorts
We melt together and blend our thoughts
And we touch, oh we touch

Spinning out around and round
They bring us down to skim the ground
slow, slow, slow, slow
Scream behind a black and white screen
And to live with you how could it seem
because all we do is mask the dirt
to once more be clean

And in the blessing of the morning
We have left again





* this song is about nitrous oxide, im not condoning usage of it, but thats where it came from.
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Old 02-06-2007, 02:41 AM   #2 (permalink)
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its pretty good, i like it
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Old 02-06-2007, 06:46 AM   #3 (permalink)
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I really like this. It's nice and short and pretty simple to understand. Good work.

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Old 02-06-2007, 07:19 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I like the middle of it just great. The very beginning I had trouble understanding, can you clarify.
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Old 02-06-2007, 12:24 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Interesting song about a drug induced state of mind. We don't get that a lot around here - it would be interesting to take us into your mind while it was happening - a little chaos in the middle yeah?
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Old 02-06-2007, 02:21 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Clarification, especially in pieces like this, is crucial. Not enough here. Your rhymes are bland. Ground/round, are you serious? Lack of good imagery, or much at all make for a boring piece. Sorry. You don't even mention NO2 here. Sorry, especially since you liked my piece, but that's how the cookie crumbles, dawg.
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Old 02-06-2007, 04:04 PM   #7 (permalink)
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cool, yeah some of those words are rather boring. im gonna cut the first lines off totally, they dont really link up with the rest cause its not real a self loathing situation. ill work on fixing the second verse up and then hit yall up with an edit sometime soon. if i can remember...
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