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Old 02-11-2007, 12:54 PM   #1 (permalink)
Imperfectly Perfect
 
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Default Forgotten Whisphers

I’m trapped in this cage

God dangles the key,

Like the sick bastard he is,

Like the sadistic little child he is.

My mind struggles to escape

Escape this hell.

Eventually I stop caring

What’s the point?



A few people stop to stare,

Point politely at the lost child

Lost in a cage,

Lost in memories,

Lost in thoughts.

Orwell whispers in her ear

“2+2=5”

She believes him.

Gein whispers in her ear

“Mammary vest”

She laughs in delight.

A necklace of lips

Lampshades of skin

A whole human suit

What could be better?

Than killing the ignorance

That plagues her world?

She goes to bed blissfully

Toying with these thoughts.



I arise with the sun,

Roll out of bed and look.

Everything is hazy still,

Even last night is hazy

I remember feeling trapped

Another forgotten night

Another red ‘?’

Written in fat, red sharpie

On the red spotted calendar

Tacked on the white wall.

I look at the orange bottle

Cap screwed on tight,

Proud it kept last nights dosage

Safe in its cold plastic arms.




I know it's choppy sounding and short lines, it fits the song it goes with.


Look up Gein if you don't know who he is. His crimes were quite interesting to say the least.
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Last edited by Kevorkian Logic; 02-11-2007 at 03:53 PM.
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Old 02-11-2007, 03:23 PM   #2 (permalink)
The Professor
 
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Very choppy, it seems to be all over the place when I was reading I was thinking where am I and what is this about through out. It's not bad but it does need work.
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Old 02-11-2007, 03:51 PM   #3 (permalink)
isfckingdead
 
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I was originally going to come in and make a witty comment about this being an em0 poem.

But its alright, it didn't take the whole boring listing his crimes style, or a sufjan john wayne gacy rip off that pieces about murderers typically do.
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Old 02-11-2007, 03:54 PM   #4 (permalink)
Imperfectly Perfect
 
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*this is to loser's comment

good. it's spoused to be everywhere.

I'm not a big believer in the conventional spell-out-all-everything lyric writing.

I went back and made a break between the 3 distinct parts, that might make it more clear.
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Old 02-11-2007, 04:18 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Blackdottwat.
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