Anniversary In Minor (bling, title, tune, quote, song)

[A_Perfect_Sonnet]

Ben Stivers
2/15/07

Anniversary In Minor

On the air tonight, my voice
Is a bird that cannot sing
Or carry out the phrase.
Turning the sky from night into day.

All I said was,
"Here is the key I am not."

I stood against a fire
And felt the warmth build to
An inevitable letdown of
An empty tune carried by a song.

All I said was,
"You are the sea I am draught."

My hands have laced this frame a hundred times.
Maybe I lack the understanding.
These arms have already died.

All I said was,
"You are the dawn I am dusk."

[chickendude]

Wtfx With The Title?

[sleepy jack]

youshouldrecordz this stuff nig.

[PaperHurricanesAndPlanes]

The calling your voice a bird should be removed. It wasn't interesting, and went nowhere. Other than that, pretty kick ass.

[right-track]

Originally Posted by PaperHurricanesAndPlanes

The calling your voice a bird should be removed. It wasn't interesting, and went nowhere.

I thought it did.

Ah...the heralding of the silent exchange of a new day.

Edit: ignore me...I'm rambling.

[Crowe]

Originally Posted by A_Perfect_Sonnet

Ben Stivers
2/15/07

Anniversary In Minor

On the air tonight, my voice
Is a bird that cannot sing
Or carry out the phrase.
Turning the sky from night into day.

All I said was,
"Here is the key I am not."

Does not fit the analogies presented in the rest of the piece

I stood against a fire
And felt the warmth build to
An inevitable letdown of
An empty tune carried by a song.

Is let down synonymous with cold?

All I said was,
"You are the sea I am draught."

My hands have laced this frame a hundred times.
Maybe I lack the understanding.
These arms have already died.

This is where I lack understanding. When did your arms come into the picture, I thought the weakness stemmed from the voice? What's going on here?

All I said was,
"You are the dawn I am dusk."

Hm?