What I Sight You And I Saw......Too Bad It Ended (dance, quote)

Loser · 03-09-2007, 10:12 PM

What I Sight You And I Saw......Too Bad It Ended

The trees dance ever so gracefully to the winds elegant music
The leaves scurry across the pathway you and I are walking along
Watching the grass sway making it look like a wave at sea
The sky as clear as the ocean
With pictures in every cloud
Birds chirping, flowers in full bloom
Staring into your crystal like blue eyes
Completes what I’ve been missing
Hoping this spring never ends
If I could trade a sunset for a sunrise
Just to stay here with you
When we went our separate ways
Mother nature was crying her somber song
Every rumble of thunder made a crack in my heart
Every flash of lightning made me think of times once pasted
Every good story has an ending
But this story didn’t have the ending I was hoping for
Ever since that spring in paradise
The trees no longer dance, the grass sways no longer
And the sky is no longer blue
Now walking along the pathway
Was like walking through a wasteland
The stillness of the scenery seems like it was
Taken from a painting
Looking around seeing no green grass, trees bare of leaves, and no flowers
Except for one little section with one flower
And bright green grass surrounding it
As if mother nature was getting ready
To recreate the paradise I once knew.

There is a real deep meaning inside this let's see who can find it.

A_Perfect_Sonnet · 03-09-2007, 10:19 PM

Some girl moved/broke up with you. You were sad. But it's getting better.

PaperHurricanesAndPlanes · 03-09-2007, 10:41 PM

you guessed it. Also, putting real deep meaning in stuff doesn't help the reader. It's really just a way of saying "I can't really write, so I'll hide all my emotions behind random metaphors and cool images." Which I used to do, but now I've changed. That being said, I love the last two lines.

~~TheUsedToolguy~~ · 03-09-2007, 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PaperHurricanesAndPlanes

you guessed it. Also, putting real deep meaning in stuff doesn't help the reader. It's really just a way of saying "I can't really write, so I'll hide all my emotions behind random metaphors and cool images." Which I used to do, but now I've changed. That being said, I love the last two lines.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't the message in 90% of poems hide behind random metaphors and cool images?

ZeppelinAir · 03-10-2007, 12:12 AM

well i see a couple diffrent things in there,

a girl moved away but you wish the good days would never end and wish that it could go forever and ever....one of my fav topics so i like it but it needs more something. i just cant say what at the moment

ArtistInTheAmbulance · 03-10-2007, 05:29 AM

this one reeks of pathetic fallacy.
to the max.
i dunno, im all for the odd represenation instead of putting it simply, but..
dont overload it.
i know i should have no say in here cause i never ever post anything of my own, but meh.
s'just my take.

03-09-2007, 10:12 PM	#1 (permalink)
Loser The Professor Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: New York City Posts: 1,113	What I Sight You And I Saw......Too Bad It Ended What I Sight You And I Saw......Too Bad It Ended The trees dance ever so gracefully to the winds elegant music The leaves scurry across the pathway you and I are walking along Watching the grass sway making it look like a wave at sea The sky as clear as the ocean With pictures in every cloud Birds chirping, flowers in full bloom Staring into your crystal like blue eyes Completes what I’ve been missing Hoping this spring never ends If I could trade a sunset for a sunrise Just to stay here with you When we went our separate ways Mother nature was crying her somber song Every rumble of thunder made a crack in my heart Every flash of lightning made me think of times once pasted Every good story has an ending But this story didn’t have the ending I was hoping for Ever since that spring in paradise The trees no longer dance, the grass sways no longer And the sky is no longer blue Now walking along the pathway Was like walking through a wasteland The stillness of the scenery seems like it was Taken from a painting Looking around seeing no green grass, trees bare of leaves, and no flowers Except for one little section with one flower And bright green grass surrounding it As if mother nature was getting ready To recreate the paradise I once knew. There is a real deep meaning inside this let's see who can find it.

03-10-2007, 12:12 AM	#5 (permalink)
ZeppelinAir Long time no see Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: somewhere in Michigan Posts: 512	well i see a couple diffrent things in there, a girl moved away but you wish the good days would never end and wish that it could go forever and ever....one of my fav topics so i like it but it needs more something. i just cant say what at the moment __________________ not that old signature

03-10-2007, 05:29 AM	#6 (permalink)
ArtistInTheAmbulance enchanted. Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: cornwailles, angleterre. Posts: 2,537	this one reeks of pathetic fallacy. to the max. i dunno, im all for the odd represenation instead of putting it simply, but.. dont overload it. i know i should have no say in here cause i never ever post anything of my own, but meh. s'just my take. __________________ shake your wings like theyre laced with sound!

03-09-2007, 10:19 PM	#2 (permalink)
A_Perfect_Sonnet Dinosaurus Rex!!! Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Winchester, VA Posts: 896	Some girl moved/broke up with you. You were sad. But it's getting better.