Music Banter

Go Back   Music Banter > Artists Corner > Song Writing, Lyrics and Poetry
Register Blogging Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read
Welcome to Music Banter Forum! Make sure to register - it's free and very quick! You have to register before you can post and participate in our discussions with over 70,000 other registered members. After you create your free account, you will be able to customize many options, you will have the full access to over 1,100,000 posts.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-30-2007, 05:22 PM   #1 (permalink)
Account Disabled
 
under's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,056
Default im slipping away from everything

You believed you could change me but you didn't

you pretty much had me in a grasp
of what i thought what a deadly and slow beginning
than it lead to a story of hurt.

it involved you with your screaming and hatred
toward one you used to love and charish
and hold with you forever.
i've gone through too much
you've reacted much differently than i had hoped.
you brought upon me something that i dont think i will recover from
or ever forget.
i dont believe i ever asked for your words
when i told you everything that i would think.

tears fall from my eyes as i lay in bed every night.
and its you who should be feeling sorry.
not me.

you only thought if you could make me feel worse
than you have accomplished something.
the only thing you have succeeded
is making someone feel like they dont belong with you.

you will never have anyone with the ways you act.
and with the heart in you.
it will turn cold before you ever know.

Last edited by under; 11-30-2007 at 09:46 PM.
under is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-30-2007, 09:10 PM   #2 (permalink)
Music Rapist
 
TheCaster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Somewhere in the U.S
Posts: 400
Default

Problems i see:
with the changes" seems out of place
tears from skin" sounds wierd..

This is great stuff i do say
__________________
A soul in tension thats learning to fly
Condition grounded but determined to try
Cant keep my eyes from the circling skies
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit
TheCaster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-30-2007, 09:47 PM   #3 (permalink)
Account Disabled
 
under's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,056
Default

thank ya. i fixed it. perhaps its better
under is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Similar Threads



2003-2019 Advameg, Inc.

SEO by vBSEO 3.5.2 ©2010, Crawlability, Inc.