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Old 12-06-2007, 04:35 AM   #1 (permalink)
Ace
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Exclamation Until You Fall (Back to Earth)

This is probably the first thing I've written in months, and it only took me a couple of hours to complete.
Was gonna change "shining light" to "burning light", because I can't stand to repeat words or forms of words.
I decided to let it slide for now, until it eats at me to where I can't stand it.
I don't know if I'm completely done with it yet.
Thought I would check in here while I had a little free time, so don't forget to tell me how much you missed me!




Until You Fall (Back to Earth)
Thursday, December 6, 2007
4:51 A.M.

[-----Verse 1-----]

Well, I see your face
Like a shining light
Poured over the seas
It shone into the night

Like another world
In the star filled sky
You're so far away...
Away from mine

[-----End Verse-----]

[-----Chorus-----]

Until you fall
Back to Earth

Until you fall
Back to Earth

Until you find your place
Here in this world

Until you fall
Back to Earth

[-----End Chorus-----]

[-----Verse 2-----]

Well, I'll do my best
Just to lift you up
And I'd hate to see
You ever come undone

You're like a gift to me
And my gifts are few
I'd give up everything
Just to see you through

[-----End Verse-----]

[-----Chorus-----]

Until you fall
Back to Earth

Until you fall
Back to Earth

Until you find your place
Here in this world

Until you fall
Back to Earth

[-----End Chorus-----]

[-----Bridge-----]

And I can see that you've become
So much better than you were
So much better than before

But you're still holding on to something wrong
And I will help you to let go
Yeah, I will comfort you
And guide you on

[-----End Bridge-----]

[-----Chorus 2-----]

Until you fall
Back to Earth

Until you fall
Back to Earth

And I will get
What I deserve

When you fall
Back to Earth

[-----End Chorus-----]
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I think I know much better than you ever will how Mettalica is. I used to play for 2 years in a Mettalica cover band.



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Old 12-14-2007, 05:57 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Telling me it's absolutely brilliant? No tomatoes or sarcastic replies?!
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I think I know much better than you ever will how Mettalica is. I used to play for 2 years in a Mettalica cover band.



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Old 12-14-2007, 09:27 AM   #3 (permalink)
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There is nothing lyrically spectacular about this - it would take music to make the lyrics happen, imo. It does, however, have potential to be a pretty badass song - it's hard to judge lyrics when they aren't word heavy - especially when you have no music to listen to accompany the lyrics. I'd like to hear this recorded.
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Old 12-15-2007, 03:17 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Yeah, it's simple and it's a slow pace. It would definately help readers alot more to have a tune with it.
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I think I know much better than you ever will how Mettalica is. I used to play for 2 years in a Mettalica cover band.



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Old 12-15-2007, 10:11 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Just like.. the last line of each verse I think

Away from mine
Just to see you through
And guide you on

You need to make it clearer what you're talking about. But other than that its a pretty cool lyric. I think i would work a lot better with music too.
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There’s something about seeing this city at night
Where we can say what we want and do what we like.
These streets are empty but we don't feel alone,
We can run in the dark and sleep on the roads.
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Old 12-15-2007, 09:30 PM   #6 (permalink)
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The first line is like comparing someone to an object out of reach.
I.E., a metaphor about the distance between someone, whether physically, or emotionally.
"Another world in the star filled sky. So far away. Away from mine."
Showing how the other person is so distant, by making the two seem worlds apart.
The song is about trying to help someone better themselves, and to "see them through" the transformation.
I liked it better than, "just to be with you", since that seemed cliche and overused.
Thanks for the comments.
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I think I know much better than you ever will how Mettalica is. I used to play for 2 years in a Mettalica cover band.



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Old 12-16-2007, 09:09 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Eh, I didn't think it was anything special in fact it reminded me of some post-grunge song that use to get a lot of radio play a few years ago and that isn't a compliment.
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Old 12-16-2007, 10:38 PM   #8 (permalink)
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I'll take it as one. If it reminds you of grunge, then I did my job.
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I think I know much better than you ever will how Mettalica is. I used to play for 2 years in a Mettalica cover band.



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