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Old 12-06-2007, 06:01 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 3
Default The One

First I made this one, and named it Bad Day...but it sounded more like a poem...

It's times like these,
When you want to die.

If your not happy in life,
What is there to live?

You need just one person,
To make it right.

They only need,
To say one word.

For that word,
Will change your life.

Often times it's a friend,
But never a brother.

For brothers,
Make your problems.

The friend might not,
Be who you thought.

But they will,
Make it right.

As they know,
How to touch your heart.


I thought it would be fun to turn it into something that could be sung...so here


There are days like these when you wanna die.
Nothin' is right, it's all goin' wrong.
You just need someone to say the word.
It'll make your life turn right.

Everyone is mean, everyone makes you feel like ****.
You don't wanna do anything about it.
If you do, it'll just backfire.
And that's the last thing that you need right now.

You just need to find the one.
The one who'll change it all.
You might not expect it,
But Oh, they will reach your heart.

You'll find yourself in true-love.
The one will look so different to you.
But she'll be just the same.
All she did is say the word, to make it right.

Now your life is good.
And you would never want it to change.
Because your in love, with the one.
She made your life right, with nothin' wrong.


I thought that one should have a better title...so I named it The One...

Ummm...tell me which one you like more, and criticize them please!


By the way, this is the first thing I have never written...aside from english essays -.-
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Old 12-06-2007, 07:58 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Posts: 400
Default

I like the lyrics better, they're pretty sweet man. uhm

things to change:
life turn right- sounds kind of odd
everyone is mean- sounds like a school girl whining
reach your heart- i suggest changing that to like touch your heart or steal your heart

last two stanzas are my favorite, great job!
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Old 12-06-2007, 02:17 PM   #3 (permalink)
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thanks man...ummm...i changed the second...i thought that whole thing was babiesh...and i added a last one...no time to write it now...but ill get to it later...ill change those 2 other things too...tanks allot
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Old 12-06-2007, 02:40 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Here is the new and improved version...


There are days like these when you wanna die.
Nothin' is right, it's all goin' wrong.
You just need someone to say the word.
They'll make your life one hundred percent.

Saddened days caused by many things.
Best friends gettin' in big fights.
Older brothers runin' your life.
You really need the one to come.

You just need to find the one.
The one who'll change it all.
You might not expect it,
But Oh, they will steal your heart.

You'll find yourself in true-love.
The one will look so different to you.
But she'll be just the same.
All she did is say the word, to make it right.

Now your life is good.
And you would never want it to change.
Because your in love, with the one.
She made your life right, with nothin' wrong.

So when your life is down, and you need it up.
There is only one solution for you sorrows.
And that solution is findin' the one.
The one for you.

-Sam

Now tell me what you think!
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