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Old 01-06-2008, 12:43 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Location: The 3rd plateau of my mind
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What kind of sense of self would I need to take me to the place I wanna be/ I wanna see the sea/ I wanna be the beat/ Feel the heat/ All eyes on me/ No time to breath/ Whatíll it be/ Six shots to the end of time/ The end of mine/ End of the line is where I donít belong/ Been in this sh*t for way too long/ Way too strong to break the bond of self-fulfillment/ Still have to do it/ I am greatness in every capacity/ To proud to see the greatness when itís thrust upon me/ Iím selfish sometimes but thatís just me/ It is what it is and was what it was/ Expansion of mind with altering drugs/ Free hugs for kicks/ If I could give a sh*t I would/ My egoís just too good to fall for stunts like that/ I could take a knife in that back/ Check the scars/ Follow the stars to the light/ Up all night/ Watchiní the mirror with that third eye sight/ I see myself and I see Iím blind/ No more walls to hide behind/
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Old 01-06-2008, 06:36 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Don't use slashes. Actually break the lines. Then I'll crit this.
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Wolverinewolfweiselpigeon said:

What's with people dying? Shit.
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Old 01-06-2008, 07:50 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I was bored so I spaced out your lyrics


What kind of sense of self would I need to take me to the place I wanna be
I wanna see the sea
I wanna be the beat
To catch them is my real test
To train them is my cause


Feel the heat
All eyes on me
No time to breath/
you're my best friend
In a world we must defend



What’ll it be/
Six shots to the end of time/
The end of mine
/ End of the line is where I don’t belong/
Been in this sh*t for way too long/
Way too strong to break the bond of self-fulfillment/

Still have to do it/
Every challenge along the way
With courage I will face
I will battle every day

To claim my rightful place
Our hearts so true
Our courage will pull us through
You teach me and I'll teach you
Come with me, the time is right
There's no better team
Arm in arm we'll win the fight
It's always been our dream

I am greatness in every capacity/
To proud to see the greatness when it’s thrust upon me/
I’m selfish sometimes but that’s just me/
It is what it is and was what it was/
Expansion of mind with altering drugs/
Free hugs for kicks/
If I could give a sh*t I would/
My ego’s just too good to fall for stunts like that/
I could take a knife in that back/
Check the scars
/ Follow the stars to the light/
Up all night
I will travel across the land
Searching far and wide
Each Pokemon to understand
The power that's inside
Watchin’ the mirror with that third eye sight/
I see myself and I see I’m blind/
No more walls to hide behind/



And I fixed some errors

Gotta catch 'em all!
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Old 01-06-2008, 11:07 PM   #4 (permalink)
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D...Did you just use a pokemon phrase in a songwriting forum? Shame on you.
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Quote:
Wolverinewolfweiselpigeon said:

What's with people dying? Shit.
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