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Old 01-13-2010, 09:14 PM   #81 (permalink)
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Cheers
I'll post a couple more up this afternoon.
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Old 01-13-2010, 11:04 PM   #82 (permalink)
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Default Barrel of a gun

When we were young,
We felt a rumble in our bones.
We'd stop to stare at the marching band,
In their red coats.

When we were older,
we felt wiser, but we knew less.
That passionate spark blown away,
Like all our friends.

You know it's harder than you think
To feel something exciting.
You know it"s harder than you think
To feel something worthwhile.
Where we used to rumble we feel numb.
When we used to be elated we now stare down the barrel of a gun.

UNfinished
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Old 01-13-2010, 11:07 PM   #83 (permalink)
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Default Put your trust in me

Clock chimes twelve past afternoon.
I was strolling in the sun,
Didn't realise I was bleeding all over you.
"It"s over", you cry, "over too soon".

Put your trust in me,
I know I'll never be the one for you.
Don"t worry any damn about it,
They never mean a thing to me.

It's summer now and the grass is dying.
Scratch that,
I didn't mean to be so negative darling.
You know this is out of my control.
You know this is out of your control dear.
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Last edited by FireInCairo; 01-13-2010 at 11:07 PM. Reason: wrng title
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Old 01-13-2010, 11:11 PM   #84 (permalink)
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Default Mercy shore

My heart lies on the ocean floor,
With this headache I seek to mend.
Feeling lost, I turn to my friends
As I scribble notes on the mercy shore.
As I scribble notes on the mercy shore.

The benchmark has been lowered again,
Tormented by the waves and Anne Boleyn.
The benchmark has been lowered again,
Hold on for dear life, maybe we can stick it to the end.

A love of mercy that shakes me to my core;
Tonight this pain takes me by surprise.
Conflicted and beaten I seek to reprise,
As I scribble notes on the mercy shore.
As I scribble notes on the mercy shore.
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Old 01-13-2010, 11:15 PM   #85 (permalink)
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Default Staring at the sea

We were,
Fleshing out our bodies
With stony eyed lies.
We were,
Making peace of war
& turning the tide.
I never realised, I never thought of this before.
That I was someone else before you...

Came along
Came along
Make sense of all our failures;
Saddle up, I'll never be alone.
Turn the page in the ether,
Huddle up, you'll never feel cold.

She sits,
Staring out the window at all the young things.
She sits,
Wondering about the willow, & all those years.
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Old 01-19-2010, 11:42 AM   #86 (permalink)
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Wow..... just wow. Awesome stuff.
I think that sometimes, you can be a little unclear, but your last song was perfectly clear.
Short and simple. Just the way I like it.
I think that your lack of clarity is worst in the song "Drone 1".
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Old 01-22-2010, 03:18 AM   #87 (permalink)
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Thanks.
That's understandable, quite often I dislike extreme clarity, it can seem trite and blunt; but that song is rubbish.
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Old 01-22-2010, 04:37 AM   #88 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FireInCairo View Post
Thanks.
That's understandable, quite often I dislike extreme clarity, it can seem trite and blunt; but that song is rubbish.
I agree with having songs told to you in a literal sense; that there is no mystery and no room for personal interpretation. Although some artists can pull off clear lyrics and make it seem so much deeper, not to say having lyrics clearly stated can't be as meaningful.
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Old 01-30-2010, 11:02 PM   #89 (permalink)
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Default Darling, spare the cane.

This woman's crying, so hard.
This might be the time that breaks her heart.
Bruised and battered, feel love
In this raining fire from on above.

Darling, Darling, Darling spare the cane.
Darling, Darling, Darling spare the cane.
Treat us better before we break.
Treat us better before our bones start to ache.
I've got a bone to pick with you,
Why do we keep getting older,
Keep growing colder?
Oh Darling spare me.

Kamikaze death calls,
This is the one that breaks my heart.
I know you started this fight,
Give me a break oh god, I'm so tired.
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Old 01-31-2010, 12:46 PM   #90 (permalink)
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That last one was pretty cool. I think that old people in relationships are a vastly underused subject. There's so much depth in the possibility of lovers drifting away and yet the only times it's ever discussed is with teenage breakup songs.
On the other hand, these people really seem to be a little bit more than "drifting away"...

The line "Kamikaze death calls" is in my opinion the weakest line in the piece, but overall it's very strong. That one line just seemed a little bit too far overboard.
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