VEGANGELICA

Hi OceanAndSilence,
I listened to both "Babel" and "Happy Days" and especially like the shifts in energy in "Babel," which has a lot in it musically. I didn't expect that because the lyrics are so short! I enjoy the thoughtfulness of your lyrics--they have a wide scope (looking at humanity's tendencies, divisions, lack of appreciation for things, and feelings).

I especially like the line, "in the glances that fail to meet my eyes" because I also feel it is sad when people walk along streets ignoring each other, and the line, "all the dross of life has floated away" to describe what you think it may feel like becoming old.

I had wondered, reading the lyrics, if the phrase "happy days" would trouble me when I listened to it (because I probably watched all the "Happy Days" episodes with the Fonz when I was growing up), but it didn't...it felt more like the nostalgia of looking back on life, which is what I think you meant.

One line I was confused about was "under all that dirt makes me feel to let go." Do you mean it makes you feel like you *want* to let go? I felt as if some words were missing.

The "Happy Days" song is much more leisurely than the first song, with fewer unexpected changes musically, so it may not hold people's interest as well as the first one does (which depends on the person, of course!). In both songs I like all the emotion you put into them...you seem very much in the moment, and that comes across in your singing/playing.

--Erica

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OceanAndSilence

thanks miss. regarding the line that doesn't grammatically make sense... i just kept it that way because it sounded right. similar to the way some of "mr. tambourine man" isn't exactly correct but it works. you're right about the song, it's about nostalgia and taking things for granted.

i'm thinking of adding in strings on the chorus in happy days so it isn't so stagnant. i have to borrow my friends midi keyboard and then post an update. i also may re-record it so there is less diffusion (i recorded both guitar and vox at the same time).

i prefer playing live in intimate settings; it suits my music and people will listen...

OceanAndSilence

this is the song from the first post.

4shared.com - online file sharing and storage - download Lucky One.mp3

i just finished recording/mixing. the producer did it for free so there's no real incentive to make a masterpiece, but i feel it's pretty good; however i strongly believe there's something missing. i think i need to embellish the song more with those subtle sweeps that you can hear pan right, as well as other little liberties that i think need to be added in... some i couldn't put my finger on though. this song is *almost* complete, i thought i'd ask you guys for some input.

anyone have critiques?

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VEGANGELICA

Hi OceanAndSilence,

Your recording of "Lucky One" often has many lovely moments where you harmonize with yourself. Combining so many voices into one piece is challenging, I think, because any place where one of the voices is out of tune sticks out.

I prefer your middle voice more than your higher voice, which sounds like a falsetto, though I know you prefer to express your feelings in your music using your higher voice, right? Sometimes the combination of all the pitches makes it hard for me to understand the words--and I'd like to be able to. While listening, I felt it would be nice to hear more solos and less harmonization (rather than using harmony throughout the piece with just a few exceptions).

The song overall feels casual and pensive with a touch of sadness, which matches your lyrics and their meaning that I recall from your earlier post. I agree with you that the song feels like something is lacking...perhaps another layer to the music. I think near the end I heard a few bells (beginning at 3:34) playing descending notes...and I liked that. The guitar playing is nice but quite repetitive with the same short-shooorrt-short-loooooong strumming pattern, and it creates a lazy relaxed feeling, but I would prefer more variety in the strumming to stir the song up more, perhaps to accentuate one of the stanzas giving more emphasis and internal structure to the song.

I especially liked your vocals at 4:04...when your solo voice (in your middle range) became very strong compared to the harmonizing voices. I would like to hear more variation throughout the song so that rather than the gentler sing-song quality throughout there are more of those vibrant, strong moments like at 4:04. At 4:04 your voice made my interest perk up...and so I started to listen more closely...and was surprised the song ended so quickly afterwards. I expected some longer feeling of climax in the song...not the quick, gentle resolution.

Goodness. Is it possible to write about music without it sounding sexual?

--Veg

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OceanAndSilence

thankyee vegangelica

music is sex, so nahhh

i do like to sing in falsetto, but i never sing the song live in the same way that this recording has been produced. the most similar comparison to the way i sing it live would be "fake plastic trees" in terms of vocal technique.

i need to put more vocal tracks in, maybe more with my modal register like you suggested. the idea from the start was to make the song sound choral. the dragging guitar is sluggish because time seems to slow when you're depressed. i think adding more ethereal sounds will take the focus away from that later on in the song.

i'll work on it more with my own equipment. i'm going to borrow my mate's midi keyboard. wish me luck hurgle durgle

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OceanAndSilence

raw'd

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VEGANGELICA

Hey OceanAndSilence,

I like your solo recording of "Lucky One"--perhaps even more than the choral version--because the simplicity of it focuses my attention on your solo voice, which has a sweetness as well as an intensity that are compelling.

I still especially like moment 4:08 because of the strength of your voice. Since the lyrics (like we discussed earlier) are not simple and straightforward, it helps that you have a very emotional voice to give the feeling of the song, since if I were hearing it for the first time I wouldn't know the situation that the lyrics were describing.

It seems that the resolution at 4:08 and after was a little more drawn out in this solo version than in the studio version, and I like the additional time given to come down from the...ahem...climax.

My, you hold very still at the end! And where is your shirt!?

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OceanAndSilence

thanks vegan mistress!

i'm not much into writing poetry without writing music for it, but i wrote this after one of those druggy nights. it's something i wrote quite a while ago, about a year ago actually. i tried to turn it into a song back then but i couldn't, and i don't plan to any more. it's about a remarkable woman i know.

pick up that bottle of red
drown yourself in it
warding off others
shaking in your web
with a message that doesn't help you, or me
and it doesn't fulfil your desires
...you don't know what does
but that won't step in your way, right?

so. look in those swirling ripples
you know them so well
although you won't, don't tell anyone;
because you think that knowledge can
sometimes work against you

and you feel 'complacent' on top
but much less than that below
and you still wonder as you look at
all those shapes if there
is someone
just like you

out there?

'cause 'they' say "the worlds an oyster!"
you're not sure if you want to open it though
because you think that knowledge can
sometimes work against you

and if you let it, it will

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Stone Birds

you're an amazing musician, we should collab: Find People. Make Music. Online - Indaba Music



i found a live version of dreamer

EDIT: i made an edit to "Babel" so it doesn't sound so evil after the line fractured ruins
http://www.box.net/shared/d4tggvyjz2

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OceanAndSilence

thanks for that edit, i'll record a hifi version when i get the time. haha, that video is evil. the song wasn't complete and i was new to live performance; you can tell i was nervous. it's played way too fast. i'll upload some more songs including dreamer to this space soon, it's 3:30am so i'll sleep and edit this post later. i played 3 gigs today, i can tell you that tires you out so much, but it's all completely worth it. can't imagine doing anything else...

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