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Old 09-29-2009, 01:53 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default My first song, any advice?

[verse]
i promised myself, i wouldnt let this get back to me.
i promised myself, this time i'd be strong, but now i see..
that i'm not strong enough for me

[chorus]
i need a hero
we all need a hero sometime
even the strong one needs to cry
i need a hero
we all need a hero sometime
i cant do this alone this time

[interlude]

[bridge]
it feels like everything is coming back now
everything ive tried for so long to hold down
and now the tears wont stop falling from my eyes
because i cant be my own hero this time

[back to chorus]

the end
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Old 11-21-2009, 08:28 PM   #2 (permalink)
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i like it. a little short, but i like it. what style of music is it?
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Old 11-29-2009, 01:24 PM   #3 (permalink)
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not too shabby... you have a concept that not everyone sings about... it's short and to the point. What you're lacking is a KAPOWW! factor. It isn't totally neccessary since it's a song...BUT if you have one...well you could go from "meh" to "wow" with just a few lines.

I don't have any specific suggestions for you. Sit down and think about exactly what this song means. Then think about all the words that go with that concept. Find a combination of those words that just pops out at you...and wallah! you are on your way.
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Old 12-01-2009, 12:59 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I think it is great, I would love to hear it sometime
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