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Old 11-29-2009, 10:07 AM   #1 (permalink)
Groupie
 
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Default My friends song.

He wrote this song in college >_>

And keeps bugging me to post it somewhere to see what people think.. he hasn't finished it.. i told him it sucks.. but he wont listen

All the hate and anger in this world
All the death and despair
Feels like i have it all on my shoulders

So what do i say?

F*** this world!
F*** everything.

Come join me and we'll take over this world

We will burn down all the corrupt governments, who'd sell out their own people for a dime
We will destroy all hate and anger


What do you see when you look into the childrens eyes
The youth of this world just feel hate towards each other
Through false lies that the news tells us



I will be posting some of my songs up soon
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Old 11-29-2009, 10:14 AM   #2 (permalink)
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That was pretty horrible.

"We will burn down all the corrupt governments, who'd sell out their own people for a dime
We will destroy all hate and anger"

Isn't this stupidly contradictionary too? I mean, you wanna destroy hate and anger by taking over the world and destroying all governments?

Is this serious or are you trying to pull our legs?

If a song preaches the removal of hate and anger or something, then it shouldn't do so by seeming angry and hateful if you get my drift. Your friend should figure out what it's gonna be, is it a song about peace and love or is it a song about stickin' it to the man? Then he should write it accordingly. Also, the language is not poetic.
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Old 11-29-2009, 03:48 PM   #3 (permalink)
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owch...stab my heart out and watch it bleed. Kind of an affront to all things poetry..

EXCEPT he is expressing himself...and thats good. It just needs to be refined... a LOT.
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Old 11-29-2009, 03:53 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Was I a bit too harsh maybe? If someone ever records the song, it might be good for something.

Maybe it will inspire hate and anger if nothing else.
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Old 11-29-2009, 03:59 PM   #5 (permalink)
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oh, no ur right... i was being "humorous"

it would be rather funny to listen too. it's one of those that my brother would be listening to, i walk in, give him a funny look, shake my head, and then go ask my parents to sign him up for therapy.
or just laugh.

it has....potential *winces*
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