Are these poems any good?
 

heylo everyone... these are just a few of the poems i've written or attempted to write. lemme know what you guys think.

it's not crazy
 

Moon
 

My nirvana
 

The wind carried me on its shoulders
Lifted me beyond the sky
Higher than my dreams could ever take me
If ever I believed in heaven, this is what it would look like
but the more I try to touch what I see, the further it drifts out of reach
And I remember. This must be hell.

When I feel my hopes sinking and salvation seems to be lost
I hide beneath the shadow of the moon and build my own nirvana with shards of abandoned dreams


In the sky, I borrow smiles from fading stars
I cling to the dying warmth that leaves way for the inevitable cold

I wake up in a universe designed to make me happy
But I know like every promise, every dream is only temporary

I always let myself fall into the purple skies
Higher than life. Higher than pain
Right in the middle of nothing

The more I try to bring my nirvana to life, the more I feel the distance between myself and salvation
The deeper I sink into this world of evanescent pictures, the more I die inside.

Tabula rasa
 

Captured in picture frames all around a melancholy room
Memories are there so that we don't forget their joy
Time has made it hard to remember why we've made memories
It seems only to remind me of the things i'm without today

Forgive me for not wanting to remember knowing love
Forgive me for not wanting to remember losing love
tabula rasa
Make it go away
Tabula rasa
Give me a clean slate

:clap:not too shabby! i like em!

Not nearly my style, but I like it.
I think you might like my lyrics, check 'em out if you want.
Keep writing, I'd definitely like to read some more.

Shweet! Thanx guys...

no probzzz duuude. write more soon :)

Poison crutch
 

I've never felt more empty than I do in this place, sitting alone the silence echos me
I Pour poison down my throat to blur the scars
A year ago I never needed a crutch to get this far
Should've known better than to surrender to my weakness

A child is scarred
His innocence has been lost
The hero he wanted to be is no more

Drown me in your grey blue poisoned sky
Take my colours and break apart what's left of my heart
change me into somebody who'll be someone to remember some day ...

Am I as worthless to you as I feel?
Why don't my cries stop you from kicking me while i'm down
I feel so damn weak
I always let you push me around

I wouldn't stop myself From drowning in your grey-blue poison sky
Feel the night fill my lungs
Suffocating every word that's me
When I come back up maybe i'd be a better person and no longer just a dream
I was sinking into everything that had no meaning at all
I was running up staircase that took me to nowhere at all
I was leaning on a crutch that in the end made me fall
I fell apart when all I wanted was to stand tall...

slightly darker than the others. i like it:) :clap:

Predator
 

You glowed ten shades brighter than the rest of the crowd across the dancefloor!
I stood against the mirror with stroh rum in my hand
Under the strobe lights I became hypnotised by you
and the look in your eyes told me you've had all the men you ever wanted to have

Didn't think i'd feel such a rush as your breath dampened the nape of my neck
But I was surprised when your kiss turned to a bite
You tasted my blood and then you fed me your night

Your touch is static lust tingling on my skin, through my bones
You make me feel alive for the night but when the sun came up, the high had already gone down
I can tell you're a predator, you always fight and you always win!
With just one touch of your lips, you'd already infected my head!

You tasted my blood and then you fed me your night!
Now i'm fading away all of my light
And your poisoned red wine spilt over my shirt, spreading stains that could never be erased!
And before my lustful eyes you shed your human form
You're a liftetime of hurt...

sooo... im confused... its about a vampire right?
cuz ive been reading waaaay too much abstract poetry lately and i have a hard time taking everything i read in a literal sense. but im getting a literal sense from this...

keep it up! Are you writing them as poetry or as lyrics?

im getting feeling of poetry as opposed to lyrics cuz there hasnt really been a chorus in any of them. i mean not ALL songs have a chorus. but the majority do. and if your aiming for a song and WANT a chorus, some of those verses could easily be transformed into one :)

anyways, im really enjoying reading these.

basically it's about someone who was seductive and beautiful and what not but turned out to be 'evil'... so yeah, kinda like a vamp. hehe

i write them mostly as poetry... but i kinda would like to turn some of them into lyrics but unfortunately i dnt know how to write music. maybe one day

Uncharted
 

just another room I'll never enter
another star I'll never reach
One more kiss left untasted
uncharted territory

what I feel and what I I wish for
can never be real, can't be right
Just when i've given up on the memories
there you are, the perfect picture of what I’ll never have

*I really do want to get lost and sink further into fantasy
let myself fall backwards and believe i'll land in the arms of angels
but i'v been here before
I know how it ends. I know I’ll lose.

*It didn't feel right to be happy in your arms when
you're not mine
And i'm not yours
I know I don't really love you
i'm just in love with the idea that maybe some day I could
And it's not like I wouldn't give you my hand and run so far away from here
But you understand it the same way that I do
What do we do when real life finds us?
Would you still hold my hand?
Would I still hold yours?

*There's a place that I see when I shut my eyes
I really wish I could take you there...
You'd like the way love grows there...
It grows without strain
Exists without pain...
*Hearts are never empty...
dreams are always real.
Love is without penalty
but with our eyes always open, we spend eternity
always wanting to feel the grounds of the uncharted territory

Fake face
 

*Hey guys! This is the very first poem I wrote so don't laugh if it sounds too lame... Lol I was pretty young. Here goes...*

I woke up this morning without my face
I looked at the mirror, frozen in one place
Suddenly all my secrets poured out
Finally I saw what my life's all about

After a while put my face back on
It helps to make believe I am strong

As I enter the gates of school
I begin to feel like an outnumbered fool
Hands from all around push me to the ground
There goes another blemish to my fake crown

So I get home and curse my reflection
All I see are my imperfections
And I stand in that lonely place
Tears race down my fake face

I reach for the blade inside my drawer
And throw myself down in a pile on the floor
As I dig the blade into my bruised skin
The world slows down and i'm punished for the day
Tonight i'll let my tears run free when morning comes they'll hide again behind the smile of my fake face

Closed
 

My windows have been shut
No light to show me the way
I'm spread out on the floor
Downhearted... No spirit in my eyes
The doors to my freedom are closed
There's no escaping this desolate place

The music box inside my chest hums a lonely tune
Its insipid rhythm forms a sad picture when I close my eyes
It's just me and my music box in this cold room
I'm barely aware of the world turning around me
I am motionless

My shattered face lay beneath the torn sky
I'm a wounded bird never to take flight.
I wait to wither and die
cover my ears so they may not hear what's left of a mournful melody
The windows are sealed to suffocate and put to sleep the linger of a fractured beat

Fragile angel
 

Fragile angel, I hope you find your peace
You were so afraid to spread your wings
Look at you now
you're soaring through the skies with all your beauty to a place far from here
A place you've been dreaming of
A place without burden

I hear the sun shines much brighter there
And won't hurt your eyes
It only warms and frees your soul

Tell me...
Is it true?
Is there love for everyone?
Have you been relieved of those burdens you carried for so long?
Is it all better now?
Are you finally at peace?
As you rise from the twilight, don't look back
Embrace your happiness and I'll be okay
I'll get there someday

For all we know, paradise may be a lie
All we know is what we've been told and with little question we keep our faith in the word
I don't know much about heaven and if it really exists anywhere
But I have spent countless nights wishing I was there
So I choose to believe it's more real than anything we can touch
So fragile angel, I think you'll be okay...

Have you seen the ones we loved so many years ago?
I can only imagine how magical it feels to be in the presence of the ones we've lost again
Maybe one day when I find my way home like you, I won't need to imagine
So no matter how old I may grow and how long it takes me
Promise you'll remember my face
I'll remember yours... And I hope you'll be waiting for me once I enter those pearly gates

LuneLight,

Your poems feel very personal and honest to me as you touch wistfully on relationships that never existed quite like you wish, and on the joy and pain you experience. I like especially those moments when the possibilities you dream about and the realities you face struggle with each other and you wonder which will win and whether hope is reasonable.

Pessimism and optimism seem to be pressing against each other in your poetry, both trying to fill the space but neither able to do so fully and permanently. I feel your poems are particularly memorable when they focus on that conflict.

Here are some of my favorite moments in your poems:

As an aside, I'm very curious about what it is like to live in South Africa!

I'm really glad you like my poetry... Lol and SA, its ok I guess except for the crime. And no we don't hav lions in our back yards lol

good stuff

Hope is Evanescent
 

You waste another night waiting on a miracle
A miracle that'll change everything
A shooting star that'll finally grant your only wish
Though that day may never come
it helps to be hopeful
But also hurts never knowing if your faith has any worth

With eager eyes waiting to see that dark cloud parting to reveal
something other than the lifeless firmament
There's always nothing... No more reasons to believe that some day there'll be a rainbow to see
I am so tired and my eyes are weak
Maybe this is all there is...

Tonight my emotions surface...
They weigh a lifetime of wrong on my chest
I've lost faith in the power of dreams and
I'm beginning to feel the distance between reality and fantasy
Time to close those books of fiction that convinced me of a better world
And let the past perish in defeat.

Unworthy soul
 

There's nothing left to do...
No choices left to make.
Every road thus far,
i've followed to a dead end
Along the way I found and lost what I thought were friends.
This time I choose to wander these woods alone.
The moonless sky will be my only shelter
Voices sing to my soul & call me to a desolate lake
This lake is home to evanescent memories
drifting within so zealously.
The cold promises to numb every thought that torments me
I wouldn't have to fight once I'm sound asleep
When winter turns the ripples above me to ice
So shall it freeze the pain in my eyes
Sinking, I let the dark swallow me.
I'm left with no light...
Only the despondence that echoes in my mind
The time that never passes feeds the feeling of ennui
No salvation... No relief
Like the rest of the forgotten, I found myself unworthy

Wow those are great!

Hide your eyes from me
 

A thousand butterflies sparkled in your eyes
A different kind of love is born into the sky...
The day turns to night and the music stops...
It goes quiet when you say goodbye...
I open my mouth to let out the lies that would make you stay and bury the hurt
I fall into the earth and lather my skin in dirt
I embrace the purgatory that i'm worth

Fly away, fly away... Leave me down here
Spread your wings and leave me with nobody to talk to
Fly away, fly away... Take the life with you as you go
Leave me alone with nothing to take the place of you...
As I watch you leave, you hide your eyes from me...

Countless days and endless nights i've tried doing what's right
While I face the war in me, I see couples taking flight
They were all strong enough to be lifted and freed
But i'm still waiting for answers down on my knees
The waiting makes me tired... It never comes to an end
Nothing fills me with the same life that I felt when you looked at me

Fly away, fly away... Leave me grounded by nothingness
Fill your lungs with your freedom, i'll fill mine with darkness
Fly away, fly away, take the love as you soar
Paint the skies with your dozen shades of happiness and i'll paint my heart grey...

As I watch you leave... As I watch you ascend...
You embrace your freedom and hide your eyes from me...

I really believe that when lyrics or poems come from your heart, nobody can claim it's bad or good.
It is what it is, and nothing more or less.

In my opinion you write quite nicely.

Keep it up!!

I agree with you seu... And thanx :) i'm losing faith in my writing these days

LUNELIGHT. How's it gooooing! I'm gonna comment on your lyrics "Unworthy Soul" cause they somehow spoke to me, cliche as that sounds. I just kinda get what they are and where they're coming from, because at the moment I'm feeling the same as you described. Almost. But anyways, a couple of lines that I liked were "Every road thus far i've followed to a dead end/Along the way I found and lost what I thought were friends." and "When winter turns the ripples above me to ice/So shall it freeze the pain in my eyes". Buuut, the only line that I thought to be slightly awkward was "Sinking, death embraces me. No light...". Don't get me wrong, there's nothing bad about it, it's just that where you placed it was kind of odd. To me. Anyways, good work, keep it up!

Thanx Ghost... Lol ur right, that line does seem a bit out of place hey... I think I lost track of what I was trying to write when I reached that part of the poem.

End of my world...
 

I imagine the stars falling from the sky and the ground giving way beneath my feet
Winds swirling as I fall through dust
I'm dreaming about the end of the world
Its life seeping through the cracks
And everything is falling into the end until they turn to black

Every time I open my eyes there's less to see
Life slips by so fast, it seems as though i'm frozen
And as it all disappears around me I can't hold on to anything good
I remain asleep, alone and frozen...

Drifting above the clouds I feel nothing but the silence tearing my skin from the bone
My eyes shatter. The portrait of my soul is cracked
Shadows come for me and take me to the dead ground
They lay me down
Stars fall from the sky, the ground gives way beneath me
And I'm falling through the dust

Good poem about mortality. I think it must be about the anxiety of knowing you're going to die, and being aware that time is running out to make something of life.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I liked it.

your poems suck you should feel bad

Crazy for feeling this way
 

Maybe i'm crazy for letting the years roll by believing that there's still something between us,
Because i'm looking at you now as you're living your life...
And i'm trying see where I fit in... But I don't.
Seems you've already forgotten...
And a part of me wishes that you'd be in my shoes
But the part of me that loves you hopes that you'll never be...
I still want you to be happy no matter what
But letting you walk away with someone else leaves me so empty...
Everytime you try to get away, your lips move but I don't hear what you say
I don't want to hear "goodbye"
Maybe i'm crazy for feeling this way

I'm still hoping that something I say will make your heart skip a beat and force you to remember the way you said you'll love me beyond this world's boundaries
But every attempt I make at getting closer to you only makes you slip away that much faster
But no! This isn't the way it goes in my mind
You're supposed to realise that i'm all you need and you'll run away from everything to be with me...
Together we'll show everyone what love really is...

You say i'm crazy for thinking this way...
Maybe I am because the years roll by and I still believe there's something between us.
i'm looking at you now as you're living your life...
And i'm trying see where I fit in... But I don't.
Seems you've already forgotten...
And a part of me wishes that you'd be in my shoes
But the part of me that loves you hopes that you'll never be...
I still want you to be happy no matter what
But letting you walk away with someone else leaves me so empty...

That didn't suck I apologise. Nice work. I relate. :( :( :(

Grey angels
 

A darkness took the place of you and left me in this place
Where I turned cold in the absence of your heart
Footprints reside all over the grounds where my angel stood
Where his words turned my love to stone
*
He knew what to say to make me believe he came from heaven
As strong as I was, I was only a puppet in his hands
I was eager to believe in every promise
My faith in him was strong
Until I gave him my soul and he was gone
*
He painted a portrait of my pain
In shades of grey, a body lay bare and twisted in torment
Left to suffer in silence on a wall for everyone to see

Though I was empty, a heaviness pulled me to my knees
And the echo of a heartbeat filled the cavity in my chest
in the hole the angel left
I pray that this pain kills me
Turns me to fragments of grey
And with all the dust, the wind takes me away
So that I won't be deceived by angels again

I loved grey angels. Pretty much how you described everything. Got nothing I want to change or replace. The kind of litteratur I enjoy, and it's all so gentle. Well done mate.

As long as it's dark
 

Shut your eyes and freeze time
Let me lay with you for a little while
Make believe we were strong enough to make it as far as we dreamed
While it's dark we can just keep on believing that we've always been and will always be this happy
Just don't open your eyes

Is there anything I could do to stall the sunrise?
I'd sell my soul for this illusion
As long as it's dark
I see things as I want them to appear

Close your eyes and put your hand in mine
We'll go on living as if nothing ever went wrong
You don't need to be afraid
You're safe if you want to be
The darkness will keep our lives so far away
And we can pretend this is the only life we've ever had
Just don't open your eyes

What do I have to do to stall the sunrise?
I'd sell my soul for one more night in this illusion
As long as it's dark and shadows keep the world from me
I see everything as I want it to be

Close your eyes and let's be perfect
We can pretend that this is really who we are
As long as it's dark we can still be happy
Until the sun rises and forces us back into our broken lives