Are these poems any good?

LuneLight · 11-06-2010, 09:53 PM

heylo everyone... these are just a few of the poems i've written or attempted to write. lemme know what you guys think.

LuneLight · 11-06-2010, 10:14 PM

It's peaceful tonight and I swallow the words dancing behind my lips
cold air tickling my fingertips
I reach for you, but you're not really here
Your body’s absent, but your spirt is always near

I'll rest my eyes and think of you
It's like you're with me, erasing all the years that separate now from our memories
I say the words out loud and it doesn't feel crazy at all

I reach out into the darkness of the ether
I can't see the nightmares that want to pull me under

As I imagine your hand reaching for mine
And it doesn't seem crazy at all to me
if i can make believe the sense of joy you made feel
then surely my dreams will one day save me
if i can still remember smiling before the tears came
the smiles were real and love is forever
I rest my eyes and think of you
It's like you're with me, erasing all the years that separate now from our memories
I say the words out loud and it doesn't feel crazy at all

I love you...

I love you...

LuneLight · 11-06-2010, 10:32 PM

From an empty room I stared at the moon

less empty the sky appears with the light perforating the endless dark

Behind my eyes, tears shiver to break the silence and be freed

To escape the emptiness as they run down my cheek

What are you waiting for?

find your freedom while there's still light left in the sky

Break free before the last flame inside of you dies...

You know it gets so much colder when the moon's out of the sky

follow the moon out of this maze

let the light guide you to easier days

get out of your shell

get out of your comfortable hell

you'll find that long lost peace pretty soon

you'll be fine as long as the sky still holds the moon

Winston · 07-26-2016, 09:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LuneLight

It's peaceful tonight and I swallow the words dancing behind my lips
All there is in the dark are the shadows reaching out to bring my fears
cold air tickling my fingertips
I hold on to you, but you're not really here
and it's okay

I'll rest my eyes and think of you
It's like you're with me, erasing all the years that separate now from our memories
I say the words out loud and it doesn't feel crazy at all

I reach out into the darkness of the ether
I can't see the nightmares that want to pull me under

As I imagine your hand reaching for mine
And it doesn't seem crazy at all to me
if i can make believe the sense of joy you made feel
then surely my dreams will one day save me
if i can still remember smiling before the tears came
the smiles were real and love is forever
I rest my eyes and think of you
It's like you're with me, erasing all the years that separate now from our memories
I say the words out loud and it doesn't feel crazy at all

I love you...

I love you...

I know this is extremely old but damn, that is really good poetry. I love the imagery. The feeling. The expression. Really good job.

LuneLight · 04-13-2017, 05:54 PM

your voice crashed down around me
Your words as sharp as razorblades
You find all the right veins
You know how to stretch out the pain.
I'm so close to death,
But you leave me dangling there
at the precipice.
Let me go, let me rest.
Let me sleep.
Please let me sleep...

LuneLight · 04-28-2017, 02:22 PM

And i wait in the dust
Holding onto the past
Cause that's where my heart was alive
Before everyone left....

Now i wait in the dust like I've
Been waiting for years
For someone to come back
And help me rebuild these memories

And i pinch myself just to see if it'll hurt
But the years have made me numb
I don't bleed anymore

LuneLight · 05-19-2017, 06:59 PM

His reflection is flawless
His loneliness, hidden by his perfection...
Not a scratch on the surface
Nothing penetrates his skin
He has a smile that never fades away
A lie that makes everything seem okay
Even when the demons inside stir, restless
His eyes remain expressionless

Outside he smiles in familiar places when he can't stand to look at their faces
Nobody gets close enough, because he's just a ghost
Hiding from what he fears the most
As long he pretends to be a part of this world
his facade remains untainted

Alone on a single bed
He Falls into the world inside his head...
And he experiences bliss for the first time
but the bliss that he feels, he'll never feel outside of his dreams
Because nothing in this world is his.

When he opens his eyes
He leaves the best part of himself behind
But he won't cry
Because, once the tears start to fall, they may never stop
So he soldiers on
Denying himself any weakness
Denying himself the freedom
And his facade remains untainted.

Joshy · 11-05-2018, 08:26 AM

this is good

LuneLight · 11-10-2010, 02:49 PM

The wind carried me on its shoulders
Lifted me beyond the sky
Higher than my dreams could ever take me
If ever I believed in heaven, this is what it would look like
but the more I try to touch what I see, the further it drifts out of reach
And I remember. This must be hell.

When I feel my hopes sinking and salvation seems to be lost
I hide beneath the shadow of the moon and build my own nirvana with shards of abandoned dreams

In the sky, I borrow smiles from fading stars
I cling to the dying warmth that leaves way for the inevitable cold

I wake up in a universe designed to make me happy
But I know like every promise, every dream is only temporary

I always let myself fall into the purple skies
Higher than life. Higher than pain
Right in the middle of nothing

The more I try to bring my nirvana to life, the more I feel the distance between myself and salvation
The deeper I sink into this world of evanescent pictures, the more I die inside.

LuneLight · 11-11-2010, 11:30 AM

Captured in picture frames all around a melancholy room
Memories are there so that we don't forget their joy
Time has made it hard to remember why we've made memories
It seems only to remind me of the things i'm without today

Forgive me for not wanting to remember knowing love
Forgive me for not wanting to remember losing love
tabula rasa
Make it go away
Tabula rasa
Give me a clean slate

11-06-2010, 09:53 PM	#1 (permalink)
LuneLight Music Addict Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Cape Town, SA Posts: 52	Are these poems any good? heylo everyone... these are just a few of the poems i've written or attempted to write. lemme know what you guys think.

11-06-2010, 10:14 PM	#2 (permalink)
LuneLight Music Addict Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Cape Town, SA Posts: 52	it's not crazy It's peaceful tonight and I swallow the words dancing behind my lips cold air tickling my fingertips I reach for you, but you're not really here Your body’s absent, but your spirt is always near I'll rest my eyes and think of you It's like you're with me, erasing all the years that separate now from our memories I say the words out loud and it doesn't feel crazy at all I reach out into the darkness of the ether I can't see the nightmares that want to pull me under As I imagine your hand reaching for mine And it doesn't seem crazy at all to me if i can make believe the sense of joy you made feel then surely my dreams will one day save me if i can still remember smiling before the tears came the smiles were real and love is forever I rest my eyes and think of you It's like you're with me, erasing all the years that separate now from our memories I say the words out loud and it doesn't feel crazy at all I love you... I love you... Last edited by LuneLight; 10-22-2018 at 11:01 PM.

11-06-2010, 10:32 PM	#3 (permalink)
LuneLight Music Addict Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Cape Town, SA Posts: 52	Moon From an empty room I stared at the moon less empty the sky appears with the light perforating the endless dark Behind my eyes, tears shiver to break the silence and be freed To escape the emptiness as they run down my cheek What are you waiting for? find your freedom while there's still light left in the sky Break free before the last flame inside of you dies... You know it gets so much colder when the moon's out of the sky follow the moon out of this maze let the light guide you to easier days get out of your shell get out of your comfortable hell you'll find that long lost peace pretty soon you'll be fine as long as the sky still holds the moon Last edited by LuneLight; 03-08-2011 at 02:48 PM.

04-13-2017, 05:54 PM	#5 (permalink)
LuneLight Music Addict Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Cape Town, SA Posts: 52	Let me sleep your voice crashed down around me Your words as sharp as razorblades You find all the right veins You know how to stretch out the pain. I'm so close to death, But you leave me dangling there at the precipice. Let me go, let me rest. Let me sleep. Please let me sleep...

04-28-2017, 02:22 PM	#6 (permalink)
LuneLight Music Addict Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Cape Town, SA Posts: 52	Dust And i wait in the dust Holding onto the past Cause that's where my heart was alive Before everyone left.... Now i wait in the dust like I've Been waiting for years For someone to come back And help me rebuild these memories And i pinch myself just to see if it'll hurt But the years have made me numb I don't bleed anymore

05-19-2017, 06:59 PM	#7 (permalink)
LuneLight Music Addict Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Cape Town, SA Posts: 52	Lonely Perfection His reflection is flawless His loneliness, hidden by his perfection... Not a scratch on the surface Nothing penetrates his skin He has a smile that never fades away A lie that makes everything seem okay Even when the demons inside stir, restless His eyes remain expressionless Outside he smiles in familiar places when he can't stand to look at their faces Nobody gets close enough, because he's just a ghost Hiding from what he fears the most As long he pretends to be a part of this world his facade remains untainted Alone on a single bed He Falls into the world inside his head... And he experiences bliss for the first time but the bliss that he feels, he'll never feel outside of his dreams Because nothing in this world is his. When he opens his eyes He leaves the best part of himself behind But he won't cry Because, once the tears start to fall, they may never stop So he soldiers on Denying himself any weakness Denying himself the freedom And his facade remains untainted.

11-05-2018, 08:26 AM	#8 (permalink)
Joshy Groupie Join Date: Nov 2018 Location: USA Posts: 1	this is good

11-10-2010, 02:49 PM	#9 (permalink)
LuneLight Music Addict Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Cape Town, SA Posts: 52	My nirvana The wind carried me on its shoulders Lifted me beyond the sky Higher than my dreams could ever take me If ever I believed in heaven, this is what it would look like but the more I try to touch what I see, the further it drifts out of reach And I remember. This must be hell. When I feel my hopes sinking and salvation seems to be lost I hide beneath the shadow of the moon and build my own nirvana with shards of abandoned dreams In the sky, I borrow smiles from fading stars I cling to the dying warmth that leaves way for the inevitable cold I wake up in a universe designed to make me happy But I know like every promise, every dream is only temporary I always let myself fall into the purple skies Higher than life. Higher than pain Right in the middle of nothing The more I try to bring my nirvana to life, the more I feel the distance between myself and salvation The deeper I sink into this world of evanescent pictures, the more I die inside. Last edited by LuneLight; 10-16-2011 at 05:32 PM.

11-11-2010, 11:30 AM	#10 (permalink)
LuneLight Music Addict Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Cape Town, SA Posts: 52	Tabula rasa Captured in picture frames all around a melancholy room Memories are there so that we don't forget their joy Time has made it hard to remember why we've made memories It seems only to remind me of the things i'm without today Forgive me for not wanting to remember knowing love Forgive me for not wanting to remember losing love tabula rasa Make it go away Tabula rasa Give me a clean slate