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Old 11-29-2012, 10:53 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Join Date: Mar 2012
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Default One fine day.

One fine day and u were next to me
I can feel my heart,
its running out of its way.
That sweet smile and you were ruling my mind.
I can see my line of destiny in ur face
So i know i will be safe......

I want those days back
When u used to follow me to the bus stand.
And now this imaginary "one fine day"
has made me realized that i need u again.
As i saw my line of destiny in ur face
I need you and i need to feel blessed.

Sometime i feel like walking away.
Not knowing whom i was with
what my life would be.
But whenever i think of you again
I live a new life every single time i breath
I feel a new body every single time i dress
And things goes much better, together.

I am living a new life every single time i breath
I am feeling a new body every single time i dress
And i am sure things will go much better, together
I can see my line of destiny in ur face
So i know i will be safe.

Last edited by miinah-a-pun; 12-01-2012 at 09:59 PM.
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Old 12-01-2012, 09:24 PM   #2 (permalink)
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It seems a little wordy and hard to piece together the rhyme or phonetic structure that would reveal itself in song form. If you could give me an idea of the melody/beat/tempo/genre of music? It's almost like asking you how does this sound LOL.....

The lyrics are solid. I don't know if this was created for someone you care about, but you can tell it comes from that special 'I'm in love with THE ONE' kind of place.

The only thing that holds me back from totally loving it is the naive nature of the song. For those of us that have been burned over and over its hard to let down your guard and hope that kind of person is out there for you. I always feel like 'this is too perfect, something is wrong here, my ass is about to get shot off'. And sadly its been the case more often than not that you count on a person without reservation and they fail you or you fail them in some way and the relationship falls apart, and a song like this one will piss you off to no end.

You want to sit down and write one of those 'Love doesn't exist' type songs LOL

Good job my friend, please keep it up!
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Old 12-01-2012, 10:16 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default

I appreciate ur views.
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Old 12-01-2012, 10:26 PM   #4 (permalink)
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thank you, and thank you for what you said about my poems...one piece of advice...if you really have that kind of love in your life do whatever it take to make it work, don't be sad and jaded like me...

bless you my friend
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Old 12-02-2012, 05:42 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Mention not friend. They sound so professional.
Now its kinda impossible n its not his fault. So......
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