Made a lyric and the song. Hope you like it

Razazy · 11-16-2014, 03:40 AM

This is our debut track.He he

Lyric:

It feels like an addiction,
Tied by the strings on my head,
Even my feet can’t touch the floor.

You create this fantasy,
You set it to infinity,

The phone doesn’t ring anymore,
Faking the lights living in my soul,
Painting up all the new pictures,

You create this fantasy,
You set it to infinity,

Mr.Cramming · 12-07-2014, 08:56 AM

Hi there, Razazy.

It is good to see that you're using synthesizing in your music, as it is a good tool for creating original material. But gotta admit, that I haven't sighted anything special in your song. It is a 4:22 song, which is not short at all. You wrote only a few lines for the song, and the bit is seemingly to be repetitive. If you make your lyrics sad, then you either try to combine them with a lot of melodies and harmonies, and as much words as possible, so the audience wouldn't get bored after one and half of a minute. I truly suggest you to slightly reform this song, and change it a little bit. Best of luck!

Black Francis · 12-07-2014, 09:12 AM

^ i agree.

Musically the track is good but lyrically it needs more content.
imo if you add at least 2 more verses with different lyrics that should be enough.

11-16-2014, 03:40 AM	#1 (permalink)
Razazy Groupie Join Date: Nov 2014 Posts: 1	Made a lyric and the song. Hope you like it This is our debut track.He he Lyric: It feels like an addiction, Tied by the strings on my head, Even my feet can’t touch the floor. You create this fantasy, You set it to infinity, The phone doesn’t ring anymore, Faking the lights living in my soul, Painting up all the new pictures, You create this fantasy, You set it to infinity,

12-07-2014, 09:12 AM	#3 (permalink)
Black Francis Out of Place Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: in an abstract house Posts: 4,111	^ i agree. Musically the track is good but lyrically it needs more content. imo if you add at least 2 more verses with different lyrics that should be enough. __________________ "Hey Kids you got to meet the MIGHTY PIXIES!" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JbRbCtIgW3A

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12-07-2014, 08:56 AM	#2 (permalink)
Mr.Cramming Groupie Join Date: Dec 2014 Posts: 18	Hi there, Razazy. It is good to see that you're using synthesizing in your music, as it is a good tool for creating original material. But gotta admit, that I haven't sighted anything special in your song. It is a 4:22 song, which is not short at all. You wrote only a few lines for the song, and the bit is seemingly to be repetitive. If you make your lyrics sad, then you either try to combine them with a lot of melodies and harmonies, and as much words as possible, so the audience wouldn't get bored after one and half of a minute. I truly suggest you to slightly reform this song, and change it a little bit. Best of luck!