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Old 04-11-2015, 12:46 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Join Date: Apr 2015
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Default just a song....broken souls

First time posting! Open to criticism and thoughts!
Look at what we've become
Look how the sky weeps for us
Look at all the excuses Youve made
Cant you see all the lies ive told?
Cant you see how Youve treated me?
Look how ive beaten you.
Look at how we've become a shell of what we used to be

Maybe this wasnt meant to be
Maybe I should leave.

But were broken souls
We've got nowhere else to go, this is our home
Were broken souls
We know what no one else wants to know
This is home
And well never find another soul as broken as us
This is home

Look how far we've fallen
Cant even get off the ground, cant even make a sound.
What led us here?
can you remember all the fights we've had?
Can you hear the screaming, the crying?
Can you see see the objects flying?

Maybe this wasnt meant to be
Maybe you should leave.

But were broken souls
We've got nowhere else to go, this is our home
Were broken souls
We know what no one else wants to know
This is home
And well never find another soul as broken as us.
This is home.

This is home
This is home

Look at what we've become
Look how the sky weeps for us.

Last edited by timelylemon; 04-11-2015 at 01:37 AM. Reason: forgot the song :)
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Old 04-20-2015, 08:53 PM   #2 (permalink)
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it's pretty good , tho it's sounds more like the song is about a home not broken souls
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Old 04-20-2015, 10:16 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timelylemon View Post
First time posting! Open to criticism and thoughts!
This part seems a little out of place. Not sure I like it as an opening line to a song, but hey, whatever floats your boat.
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Old 04-24-2015, 05:38 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ki View Post
This part seems a little out of place. Not sure I like it as an opening line to a song, but hey, whatever floats your boat.
I think it's an interesting line, a sort of sign of innocence and vulnerability in this cold and brutal post modern world.
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