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Old 06-15-2016, 05:30 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by pansy gayboy 69 View Post
there.
Aren't we all? I thought that's what this site was for.
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I'm not even mad. Seriously I'm not. You're a good dude, and I think and hope you'll become something good
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Old 06-15-2016, 05:32 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Aren't we all? I thought that's what this site was for.
i know i am
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Old 06-16-2016, 11:52 AM   #13 (permalink)
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I'm shocked, no major criticism?
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Old 06-16-2016, 03:26 PM   #14 (permalink)
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What do you want us to say? That "eyes sinking" is, at best, a sloppy metaphor?
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Old 06-16-2016, 07:47 PM   #15 (permalink)
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What do you want us to say? That "eyes sinking" is, at best, a sloppy metaphor?
Then you'd just be digging to be a critic...
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Old 06-16-2016, 08:00 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Digging?
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Old 06-16-2016, 09:03 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Digging?
Because, obviously nobody has had anything negative to say. So it couldn't be that bad... I guess it's not much to rate.. Now if you were able to explain how it's a bad metaphor and how it could improve I might just believe you.
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Old 06-16-2016, 09:23 PM   #18 (permalink)
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It's amazing writing. Truly Fred Durst level poetry.
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Old 06-16-2016, 09:53 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Because, obviously nobody has had anything negative to say. So it couldn't be that bad... I guess it's not much to rate.. Now if you were able to explain how it's a bad metaphor and how it could improve I might just believe you.
Because nobody cares enough to comment then it must be good?
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Old 06-16-2016, 11:06 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Maybe your mind will change,
or I'll watch you bleed
The "maybe" doesn't make any sense. It'd be better if you cut "maybe", but it will still suck.

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And maybe your eyes will sink,
Before you breathe
The "maybe" at least makes sense here, but then it's followed by an eyes sinking metaphor. I just see eyeballs sinking in the water. Not only is that a nonsensical metaphor, but I think eyeballs float. Could be wrong. Can anyone confirm this?

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Maybe your mind will fail,
before you care
Like, as in senility? So the singer is dating an old woman?

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And maybe you're just hard to take...
That's what she said.
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