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Old 06-14-2016, 11:43 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default rate 4 lines... more to it, however, can't give it all away
Maybe your mind will change,
or I'll watch you bleed

And maybe your eyes will sink,
Before you breathe,

Maybe your mind will fail,
before you care,

And maybe you're just hard to take...
Last edited by WhyBanhammer; 06-15-2016 at 04:43 PM.
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Old 06-15-2016, 04:05 AM   #2 (permalink)
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I see seven lines.
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Old 06-15-2016, 04:39 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Are "bleed" and "breath" supposed to rhyme? Because they don't.
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Old 06-15-2016, 07:07 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Assonance
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Old 06-15-2016, 10:17 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mordwyr View Post
Are "bleed" and "breath" supposed to rhyme? Because they don't.
No they're not.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stephen View Post
Assonance
Agreed, you can really detect it when singing.

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Originally Posted by Janszoon View Post
I see seven lines.
Sorry 4 verse.
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Old 06-15-2016, 02:43 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhyBanhammer View Post
No they're not.
All right. So what is "before you breath" supposed to mean?
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Old 06-15-2016, 02:50 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I assume it's "before you breathe".
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Old 06-15-2016, 02:54 PM   #8 (permalink)
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He said "bleed" and "breath" were not supposed to rhyme, though.
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Old 06-15-2016, 04:40 PM   #9 (permalink)
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OK, so it's pretty messed up if you take it like it sounds...

The line is: "Maybe your eyes will sink, before you breathe"... Think about normal eye and mouth placement on the human face.

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Originally Posted by Stephen View Post
I assume it's "before you breathe".
You're right, sorry, just typed it up quickly..

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Originally Posted by mordwyr View Post
He said "bleed" and "breath" were not supposed to rhyme, though.
Sorry for the confusion, you were right...
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Old 06-15-2016, 05:09 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WhyBanhammer View Post
Maybe your mind will change,
or I'll watch you bleed

And maybe your eyes will sink,
Before you breathe,

Maybe your mind will fail,
before you care,

And maybe you're just hard
there.
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