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Old 02-02-2018, 09:25 AM   #11 (permalink)
Just Keep Swimming...
 
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Reminds me of a personal favorite:

Ode to Nancy Loo
by: my brother

*ahem*

You look good in skin tight jeans
Let me touch your jelly beans
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Old 04-28-2018, 09:38 AM   #12 (permalink)
Ask me how!
 
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AesopHawk

I once knew a guy with a twelve inch wanger,
but his girlfriend's father wouldn't ever let him bang her.

After a year, she got a blue clit,
and rubbed herself off till it made her shit.

As for the guy, he did the same thing,
only instead of a clit he rubbed his ding-a-ling.

All his jizz came out in spurts,
and he came so much that it cured world thirst.

In the end, they never got a chance to fuck,
since they both were run over by a sentient truck.

Thus ends the story, and the moral, though crude,
is that life is too short to be a lame prude.

Don't be a gun without even a bullet.
If you want the dick, then find one and pull it.
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Old 04-28-2018, 10:06 AM   #13 (permalink)
one-balled nipple jockey
 
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It’s true I’m a man with a very long pecker
If I can’t get it fair I’ll five knuckle deck her

I f ucked one bitch so hard she got cancer of the clit
She’s been dead for a year but I still hit that s hit

And when it’s my turn to die you can f uck my corpse too
Unless you are Christian or Arab or Jew

My j izz comes out mighty like Ori done told you
One ejaculation has fed all of Angola

By the time that I’m through there ain’t no bitch I won’t f uck
While you’re reading this poem you’re becoming my cuck

The moral of this story is simple and crude
I will get in yer bitch whether a whore or a prude

I love the pussy so much I can’t even stand it
I’m coming round your backdoor cause I’m a sexual bandit
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