Music Banter

Go Back   Music Banter > Artists Corner > Song Writing, Lyrics and Poetry
Register Blogging Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read
Welcome to Music Banter Forum! Make sure to register - it's free and very quick! You have to register before you can post and participate in our discussions with over 70,000 other registered members. After you create your free account, you will be able to customize many options, you will have the full access to over 1,100,000 posts.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-24-2018, 08:33 AM   #1 (permalink)
Groupie
 
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Oulu
Posts: 10
Default Ok to say: Save from a war; Burn from inside?

I'd like to have a response from the native English speakers.

I have lines:

1. How to save the nation from a war.

And:

2. African flames are burning from inside.

Is the grammar ok?

3. I have a verse:

Moving planets form a seesaw
Where the gravity has been caught
Although Jupiter has lost the force

Is the grammar ok?
Ilpoxi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-24-2018, 04:42 PM   #2 (permalink)
Born To Be Mild
 
Lisnaholic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: He lives on Love Street
Posts: 2,929
Default

Yes, your grammar looks fine to me, Ilpoxi, and these days, lyrics don't have to be grammatically correct anyway.

As a native English speaker, the way you have used "the" in #3 is perhaps a little strange: it'd be more normal to say "Where gravity has been caught."

Also, in normal usage, #1 would typically be part of a longer idea, for example:
"I don't know how to save the nation from a war" or "How to save the nation from a war is a problem for politicians today."

"Moving planets form a seesaw" is a great line, btw.
__________________
Did you ever hear of having more than you wanted? So that you couldn’t want anything else and then started looking for something else to want? It seems like we’re always searching for something to satisfy us, and never finding it. - Susan Eloise Hinton, 1967
Lisnaholic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-25-2018, 02:07 AM   #3 (permalink)
Groupie
 
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Oulu
Posts: 10
Default

Ok, Lisnaholic, thanks for the comments. Then I have to change the line to
"Where THEIR gravity has been caught"
because I cannot remove the note.
Ilpoxi is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Similar Threads



© 2003-2019 Advameg, Inc.

SEO by vBSEO 3.5.2 ©2010, Crawlability, Inc.