The Flying Boy (house, member, classic, quote, Siren)

Crowe · 09-05-2007, 12:38 AM

It's been a long time. I missed you guys.

The Flying Boy

I remember him standing
in front of the mirror smiling.
He wore his underwear,
my rain boots, a white t-shirt,
and a sheet that wrapped
around his neck that said his name.
My little brother, yes
my skinny little brother Robby.
Wanted to be a hero,
a superhero, he wanted to save me.

It's funny, the day was beautiful unlike dramatic tragedy.
Wearing his cape and riding next to me.
The wind blowing blond hair into his eyes,
Our bicycles with little playing cards,
Tickling the spokes playfully.
"Brother", he cried to me,
"Watch how fast I can go, watch me fly!"
And so he pedaled faster and faster,
I was watching Robby fly.
Time stopped then and dreams turned to nightmares.
I wanted to save him.

Well his eyes rolled back,
And he tumbled down the street,
Grabbing his chest, he can't feel his feet.
He chokes and sputters and I start screaming,
"Mother, mother, mother!"
His skin turns blue when we get him inside,
His lips are purple and his eyes are white.
Sirens and stretchers come to the scene,
Paramedics running past our tree house,
Running past old toys and wooden swings.
I see a sad man shaking his head,
My mom starts crying and my brother,
Looks sadly at me as his breathing slows...

Laying across him, I feel the last beats of his heart.
He smiles softly and his voice angelic,
Like feathers meeting flowers in beautiful design,
"Brother, please don't cry, didn't you see me fly?"

r. crowe

EDIT: ended up just taking that little did he/we know part out, it kind of gave the piece away and it was dry like some of you mentioned.

**sleepy jack** · 09-05-2007, 02:30 AM

Beautiful, a classic Crowe my only problem was the mother mother mother line, mother mother would be best. Just twice, it sounds nicer.

The Dave · 09-05-2007, 08:42 AM

^I don't know about that, I wouldn't say that it sounds better either way.

Also, typo: Looks sadly as me as his breathing slows...
I'm guessing you meant to put 'sadly at me.'

But this part to me seems a tad dry:

But little did he know, little did we know,
That it wasn't me,
who was going to need the saving.

I'm not sure what you could change it to, but it just sounds dull compared to the rest of the piece which is really good.

**sleepy jack** · 09-05-2007, 03:57 PM

If you read it out loud, mother three times drags it on unnecessarily. Twice does the job just fine.

**right-track** · 09-05-2007, 03:59 PM

I love it.

Then again I love Crowe...

...welcome back man.

Ornette · 09-05-2007, 06:30 PM

Quote:

But little did he know, little did we know,
That it wasn't me,
who was going to need the saving.

This is really cliche and should probably be changed to something slightly less direct.

Otherwise this is great.

Crowe · 09-05-2007, 07:31 PM

It's good to be back, my style hasn't changed much you see.

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09-05-2007, 12:38 AM
Crowe Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Chicago/St. Louie Posts: 681	The Flying Boy It's been a long time. I missed you guys. The Flying Boy I remember him standing in front of the mirror smiling. He wore his underwear, my rain boots, a white t-shirt, and a sheet that wrapped around his neck that said his name. My little brother, yes my skinny little brother Robby. Wanted to be a hero, a superhero, he wanted to save me. It's funny, the day was beautiful unlike dramatic tragedy. Wearing his cape and riding next to me. The wind blowing blond hair into his eyes, Our bicycles with little playing cards, Tickling the spokes playfully. "Brother", he cried to me, "Watch how fast I can go, watch me fly!" And so he pedaled faster and faster, I was watching Robby fly. Time stopped then and dreams turned to nightmares. I wanted to save him. Well his eyes rolled back, And he tumbled down the street, Grabbing his chest, he can't feel his feet. He chokes and sputters and I start screaming, "Mother, mother, mother!" His skin turns blue when we get him inside, His lips are purple and his eyes are white. Sirens and stretchers come to the scene, Paramedics running past our tree house, Running past old toys and wooden swings. I see a sad man shaking his head, My mom starts crying and my brother, Looks sadly at me as his breathing slows... Laying across him, I feel the last beats of his heart. He smiles softly and his voice angelic, Like feathers meeting flowers in beautiful design, "Brother, please don't cry, didn't you see me fly?" r. crowe EDIT: ended up just taking that little did he/we know part out, it kind of gave the piece away and it was dry like some of you mentioned. __________________ Hi. I'm Crowe. This is my sig. My love finally resting, A solemn corpse buried in you. My silly experimental band: www.myspace.com/boyfromthestarsmusic Last edited by Crowe : 09-05-2007 at 07:28 PM.

09-05-2007, 02:30 AM
sleepy jack Bone Machine Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Jesusland Posts: 17,218	Beautiful, a classic Crowe my only problem was the mother mother mother line, mother mother would be best. Just twice, it sounds nicer. __________________ You're so evil and I'm so good, I'll make it up to you someday.

09-05-2007, 08:42 AM
The Dave Me and The Major Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Kentucky Posts: 1,887	^I don't know about that, I wouldn't say that it sounds better either way. Also, typo: Looks sadly as me as his breathing slows... I'm guessing you meant to put 'sadly at me.' But this part to me seems a tad dry: But little did he know, little did we know, That it wasn't me, who was going to need the saving. I'm not sure what you could change it to, but it just sounds dull compared to the rest of the piece which is really good. __________________ My collection,winkwinkcoughcough

09-05-2007, 03:57 PM
sleepy jack Bone Machine Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Jesusland Posts: 17,218	If you read it out loud, mother three times drags it on unnecessarily. Twice does the job just fine. __________________ You're so evil and I'm so good, I'll make it up to you someday.

09-05-2007, 03:59 PM
right-track Avin' It! Join Date: May 2005 Location: THE PEOPLES ЯEPUBLIK ФF MAИCUИIA Posts: 4,948	I love it. Then again I love Crowe... ...welcome back man. __________________ Choose Liverpool. Choose the dole queue. Choose to scam disability benefit. Choose mind-numbing, grinding efficiency over flair. Choose Torben Piechnik, Istvan Kozma and Paul Stewart. Choose not to win a single league title since the backpass rule was implemented. Choose penalties. Choose car stereos, hubcaps and stanley knives. Choose to trade on your proud sense of tradition and then not lift a finger in protest when two American billionaires who don't even know the name of your club decide to buy it. Choose to win the European Cup whilst only having to play seven matches. Choose to bask in a perpetual, sickening, media love-in. Choose celebrities who ** off out of your city as soon as they have earned the money to do so and then spend the rest of their lives harping on about how wonderful it is. Choose to sing about Munich until confronted with your own tragedy. Choose to end it all in an orgy of self pity, just another excuse to perpetuate the grief culture spawned by your selfish, insular **ed-up excuse for a city. Choose your future. Choose Scouse.

09-05-2007, 07:31 PM
Crowe Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Chicago/St. Louie Posts: 681	It's good to be back, my style hasn't changed much you see. __________________ Hi. I'm Crowe. This is my sig. My love finally resting, A solemn corpse buried in you. My silly experimental band: www.myspace.com/boyfromthestarsmusic