My Relationship With Carly's Door (dancing, dance)

Crowe · 10-16-2007, 12:42 PM

I'm getting those juices back...

My Relationship With Carly's Door

Carly what's got you stuck inside?
Are you really crying on the rug?
Because I'm outside on your porch singing.
If you wanted to smile for a minute or two,
I'm outside on your porch singing.
What's got your cheeks wet, tonight?
Carly please come to reason, I'm on your porch.

I could say the most beautiful things,
Ignite the smile on you forever more,
But right now honey, I'm only singing to your door.

Carly what's got you sobbing inside?
Are the tissues piling up?
Because I'm outside on your porch singing.
If you wanted to laugh for a minute or two,
I'm outside on your porch singing.
What's got you choking back words tonight?
Carly please come dance with me on your porch.

You can move in the most beautiful ways,
And I'll be following stride, yes, my feet clumsy on the floor,
But right now dear, I'm only dancing with your door.

Come out Carly,
Come to dance and sing.
You'll run out of water soon,
I'm afraid you have no more tears to store.
So come out Carly,
I'm here banging your damn door.

Come out Carly,
Come to dance and sing.

R. Crowe

Crowe · 10-21-2007, 11:56 PM

anyone?

Kevorkian Logic · 10-22-2007, 05:43 PM

the last line is a bit trite, but otherwise there's some good stuff in there. "Ignite the smile" is sticking out.

**cardboard adolescent** · 10-22-2007, 06:04 PM

Wait, you're Russell Crowe?

Crowe · 10-23-2007, 10:42 AM

haha Ryan. But you know how we do.

The Dave · 10-23-2007, 11:24 AM

I liked it, it wasn't anything too complicated but it had a very simplistic beauty about it. I kinda agree with what KL said about the last line, but overall it's a good piece.

Crowe · 10-26-2007, 10:54 AM

Done and Done. Is it better without the last line, i think it rounds itself up nicely.

The Dave · 10-26-2007, 12:10 PM

^Sounds much better, again, good job

.

Kevorkian Logic · 10-26-2007, 02:53 PM

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10-16-2007, 12:42 PM
Crowe Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Chicago/St. Louie Posts: 681	My Relationship With Carly's Door I'm getting those juices back... My Relationship With Carly's Door Carly what's got you stuck inside? Are you really crying on the rug? Because I'm outside on your porch singing. If you wanted to smile for a minute or two, I'm outside on your porch singing. What's got your cheeks wet, tonight? Carly please come to reason, I'm on your porch. I could say the most beautiful things, Ignite the smile on you forever more, But right now honey, I'm only singing to your door. Carly what's got you sobbing inside? Are the tissues piling up? Because I'm outside on your porch singing. If you wanted to laugh for a minute or two, I'm outside on your porch singing. What's got you choking back words tonight? Carly please come dance with me on your porch. You can move in the most beautiful ways, And I'll be following stride, yes, my feet clumsy on the floor, But right now dear, I'm only dancing with your door. Come out Carly, Come to dance and sing. You'll run out of water soon, I'm afraid you have no more tears to store. So come out Carly, I'm here banging your damn door. Come out Carly, Come to dance and sing. R. Crowe __________________ Hi. I'm Crowe. This is my sig. My love finally resting, A solemn corpse buried in you. My silly experimental band: www.myspace.com/boyfromthestarsmusic Last edited by Crowe : 10-26-2007 at 10:54 AM.

10-21-2007, 11:56 PM
Crowe Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Chicago/St. Louie Posts: 681	anyone? __________________ Hi. I'm Crowe. This is my sig. My love finally resting, A solemn corpse buried in you. My silly experimental band: www.myspace.com/boyfromthestarsmusic

10-22-2007, 05:43 PM
Kevorkian Logic Ya Wanna Trip? Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 919	the last line is a bit trite, but otherwise there's some good stuff in there. "Ignite the smile" is sticking out. __________________ She was laughing like crazy at the trouble I'm in Her light eyes were dancing she is insane Schizophrenia is taking me home

10-22-2007, 06:04 PM
cardboard adolescent time isn't on my side Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Chicago Posts: 2,351	Wait, you're Russell Crowe? __________________ Free Music! My blog The Ocean Will Have Us All

10-23-2007, 10:42 AM
Crowe Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Chicago/St. Louie Posts: 681	haha Ryan. But you know how we do. __________________ Hi. I'm Crowe. This is my sig. My love finally resting, A solemn corpse buried in you. My silly experimental band: www.myspace.com/boyfromthestarsmusic

10-23-2007, 11:24 AM
The Dave Me and The Major Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Kentucky Posts: 1,887	I liked it, it wasn't anything too complicated but it had a very simplistic beauty about it. I kinda agree with what KL said about the last line, but overall it's a good piece. __________________ My collection,winkwinkcoughcough

10-26-2007, 10:54 AM
Crowe Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Chicago/St. Louie Posts: 681	Done and Done. Is it better without the last line, i think it rounds itself up nicely. __________________ Hi. I'm Crowe. This is my sig. My love finally resting, A solemn corpse buried in you. My silly experimental band: www.myspace.com/boyfromthestarsmusic

10-26-2007, 12:10 PM
The Dave Me and The Major Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Kentucky Posts: 1,887	^Sounds much better, again, good job . __________________ My collection,winkwinkcoughcough

10-26-2007, 02:53 PM
Kevorkian Logic Ya Wanna Trip? Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 919	__________________ She was laughing like crazy at the trouble I'm in Her light eyes were dancing she is insane Schizophrenia is taking me home