Classof75

Maybe you will see it from their side some day if you have a child of your own. I understand my parents better, now that I have a 14 year old. There is a reason your parents "keep saying the same things". It is because you don't show you are listening and understand what they are telling you. If you take care of things (that they are bugging you about), then there is no issue. My daughter gets an allowance for doing her chores (which are clearly defined) WITHOUT BEING ASKED to do them. It is her responsibilty to make sure they get done. If we see things are not being taken care of - NO ALLOWANCE. She has to learn "how things are supposed to be done" before she finds out the hard way (getting fired from a job she needs someday). Sometimes you have to look at life like a buisness, a great part of real life is like that.

Arya Stark

I understand all of that.

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Dr.Seussicide

"Spare the rod and spoil the child" I read that in this book I saw one day...called the BIBLE :|

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NSW

It's true. My mom used to talk to me for hours and hours when I did something wrong, and I would beg her to just beat the sh*t out of me and leave my room so I could go to sleep. Seriously...

But regarding the subject at hand, I kind of think it would be hard to say "it's always wrong" or "it's always right". Different things work with different children, and I think the key is being perceptive enough as a parent to know when spanking is necessary and when something else might work better. Of course, I don't have children, so I could be talkin' out of my ass. I was spanked, but damn I was a hell child and sorta think I deserved it. And I don't feel any worse for it. I don't have violent tendencies and believe I'm semi well adjusted. On the other hand, my brother never got spanked...not because he never did anything wrong, but because simply talking to him about it usually worked. Different strokes I guess.

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crash_override

Who beats their kids with a rod? I mean, seriously.

But in truth I agree 100%, I believe that traditional forms of physical discipline are both necessary and acceptable in todays society. The problem with it is, where do you draw the line? Some parents just don't know their limits and take it too far. Some parents are afraid of even touching their children because of the negative publicity that physical discipline has gotten in recent years. In all, it's a very fine line. But, if utilized correctly, physical discipline and good parenting can be one-in-the-same.

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Son of JayJamJah

The traditional forms of physical discipline are being beaten with belts, rulers and sticks, I strongly disagree and think there is more then enough evidence gathered to suggest that it's very much possible to raise a child to be a contributing member of society without any physical discipline to come to the conclusion that there is never a good reason to spank, paddle or strike a child.

Is it always physical abuse, of course not, but it's never necessary.

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crash_override

So you're saying that you could put 2 children in a room. One who gets spanked when he does wrong and one who is normally given a 5 minute time out. Put an XBox with all the games in the room and tell them that if they touch it they will receive their respective punishment. You really think the kid thats going to be spanked in front of those people will touch that thing before the kid who has to sit in the corner for 5 minutes?

Of course not. The little time-out brat is going to play the XBox, then sit in the corner giggling about it during his 5 minute hiatus. Thats not going to change when he becomes an adult, what's there to fear? A fine? House arrest? no big deal. It's just like the time outs when he was a kid. Just giggle it off and keep breaking the rules.

Belts Rulers and Swithces? It's not lke you're talking about a tire iron here. Those items aren't going to break any bones. I honestly don't see anythin wrong with it, and I hate to think what I would be like today had I not had a little sense SPANKED into my ass as a child. There is noone I respect more than the mother who smacked me in my face on easter sunday in 1994 when I yelled at her a was dis-respectful, my family has it on tape and it disgusts me to think that I once acted like that. That was a turning point in my life, I wouldn't want to have it any other way. The last thing I would want is to be one of those mouthy little brats stuck inside an adult body, which we see all too often these days.

Point is, you can always tell the difference between kids who are physically disciplined, and the kids who are given your poor excuse for a punishment. I was physically disciplined as a child and it scared the **** out of me. But I was NEVER, I repeat NEVER physically ABUSED, there is a difference. A very clear one.

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Son of JayJamJah

I'd take the X-box away thus avioding the temptation and the need to hit a child.

A never suggested a timeout either, as for transition to adulthood, 98% of incarsarated inmates here in Michigan witnessed or were victims of physical abuse and\or discipline as children. Again, I'll take away the X-box teach the child the difference between a right and privilege and not hit them.

You'll make an excellent parent.

I firmly believe the same thing could have been accomplished without hitting you, I'd be embarrassed if my wife had done that to one of our children.

1. No you can't unless you mean
2. Kids who are physically disciplined are 12 times as likely to fight in school (CED Report 2008)

I made that distinction in my last post and several times earlier in the thread when I noted I was physically disciplined throughout my childhood as well.

It's wrong, plain and simple, abuse or not, it's not essential and should not be an option for a rational parent.

Would you let another adult strike your child?

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Me, Myself and I United as One

If you're posting in the music forums make sure to be thoughtful and expressive, if you're posting in the lounge ask yourself "is this something that adds to the conversation?" It's important to remember that a lot of people use each thread. You're probably not as funny or clever as you think, I know I'm not.

My Van Morrison Discography Thread

crash_override

Then how are you going to stop the crying fit that ensues.

Again, we are not advocating any sort of domestic violence here, this statistic holds little to no relevance.

Sarcasm or not, I firmly agree with you one this.

Well my mom didn't have a husband so thats not an issue, if she hadn't smacked the **** out of me that day, I would have shaken it off like the countless other punishments I had received. Notice I can't recall the dates of any of these. This was my first encounter with physical discipline, mind you. I was a problem child of alternative punishment for years before, and I remind myself daily of how wrong it was to subject my mother to that sort of brattish behavior. I'm thankful for who I am, and feel that I'm a better person because of the way I was brought up. You can throw all the stats you want at this issue, but I'm telling you first hand... it worked for me.

You mean stand up for themselves to kids that pick on them? Good, I don't want my kid going through that crap. I hope they stand up for themselves, so long as they aren't instigating the fights and it isn't terribly re-occuring.


Stranger, teacher, preacher, neighbor, creepy guy at the grocery store? NO.

Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents, and other close family. Yes, if necessary.

In the end, you've obviously established your ways of parenting and perhaps they have yielded fine results for you. That's the beauty of parenting, you get to instill whatever you choose in your child, and it's very important to set a good example. Hopefully, physical discipline would never be necessary and in a perfect world, it wouldn't be. But it my kid ever does something over and over again and hasn't responded to alternative punishment. Then physical means of correction will be instituted.

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Astronomer

You leave the kid be and let them learn for themselves what happens when they do something wrong. Hitting just isn't necessary!

Kids standing up for themselves, fine. Kids bullying other kids via physical violence is not fine. And countless studies have shown that children who are disciplined physically are more likely to use violence at school, usually NOT for merely standing up for themselves. Their parents teach them that in order to obey they need to be hit. So children believe that if they want another child to do something or act in a certain way than they must be hit.

Out of curiosity, why would you think it's okay for you and your relatives to physically discipline your child but not a teacher who is a trained professional in disciplining and teaching children? If you think physical discipline is okay, wouldn't you condone teachers using it? Or would you like any other parents simply use physical harm as a means of controlling your children?

Teachers don't use physical discipline on children anymore because they are trained in the field and it is a known fact that physical discipline is ineffective and detrimental. Shouldn't that say something?

I've worked with many, many children and I've never come across one child who needs to learn something through physical discipline. If your child hasn't responded to your form of discipline than obviously you haven't executed it properly or used the right technique.

I'd also just like to say that research has also shown that most parents who use physical discipline do not use it as a systematic disciplining technique. It is usually an act that takes place when they lose their temper or become frustrated that nothing is working.

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