Physical discipline against children .. okay or not?

Xurtio · 10-31-2016, 08:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by djchameleon

I can link you to the psychology studies but it has something to do with kids before four not having developed something in their brains that responds to consequences. Also kids in their terrible 2s will push their boundaries and test to see what they can and can't get away with. If you just talk to them and try to reason with them they don't have the capacity to understand wtf is going on. The light tap on their butt is there for reinforcement.

And I can link you to papers that show that spanking is no different than other forms of physical abuse in terms of psychological affects.

Think about it... you, a scared and anxious 2yo for whom everything is emotionally devastating, are being hit by the person you're supposed to trust and be safe with. A light tap isn't going to do anything to reinforce (it's punishment, not reinforcement anyway). If you want to hit hard enough for it to be effective, it's also abusive. Bottom line: kids are not dogs, they're not there to be molded into a machine by psychological conditioning. Kids are humans and humans work through attachment.

Do you have kids?

DwnWthVwls · 10-31-2016, 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by djchameleon

I can link you to the psychology studies but it has something to do with kids before four not having developed something in their brains that responds to consequences. Also kids in their terrible 2s will push their boundaries and test to see what they can and can't get away with. If you just talk to them and try to reason with them they don't have the capacity to understand wtf is going on. The light tap on their butt is there for reinforcement.

I remember reading something about this as well. I think it has something to do with at a young age kids haven't developed empathy, so trying to explain to them why their actions are wrong just isn't effective.

Take it how you want, I don't feel like finding an article.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xurtio

And I can link you to papers that show that spanking is no different than other forms of physical abuse in terms of psychological affects.

Think about it... you, a scared and anxious 2yo for whom everything is emotionally devastating, are being hit by the person you're supposed to trust and be safe with. A light tap isn't going to do anything to reinforce (it's punishment, not reinforcement anyway). If you want to hit hard enough for it to be effective, it's also abusive. Bottom line: kids are not dogs, they're not there to be molded into a machine by psychological conditioning. Kids are humans and humans work through attachment.

Do you have kids?

It's really not emotionally devastating if you haven't developed the capacity to understand what's happening on an emotional level. Also, you view of dogs(probably animals in general) is rather off-putting.

With that being said, I'd like to believe I'd never hit a child..

Lucem Ferre · 10-31-2016, 12:31 PM

I have something more valid than studies and research...

Video game quotes!

Quote:

Originally Posted by John Marston

It's easy to make up rules, but they ain't much use if the people don't understand why. Like my son. If I tell him not do somethin', he'll do it anyways, just to spite me. If I punish him, he resents me for it. But if I show him why it's wrong, at least he has a reason not to do it again.

Chula Vista · 10-31-2016, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tore

You can't know how you would've turned out if you were subjected to a different upbringing and you may carry scars that you are not aware of.

I definitely have scars buried. I've forgiven my mom for the abuse and my dad for the apathy but the memories don't just go away. When I had my nervous breakdown 2 years ago along with having to start new meds I had to see a shrink a few times. In one session it all came out and the shrink was visibly shaken by the things I told her. I was left a quivering mess afterwards.

Guybrush · 10-31-2016, 02:18 PM

Physical punishment wasn't really something my parents did, except one time. One of my earliest memories is of my father giving me a slap on the hand for something. I guess I may have been three or four years old and I can't remember what I'd done, only the punishment. There's very little I can remember from fatherly interaction at that age, so it definitely left an impression.

Aloysius · 10-31-2016, 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tore

the argument that "I was beat and turned out fine" is fallacious.

I completely agree. We hear this all the time in other guises - "my grandad smoked 2 packets a day and lived to 100", "I know someone who wasn't vaccinated and they didn't die of a horrific disease" and so on.

I've never hit my kids (admittedly I was never hit and usually people just continue the parenting style of their parents). We still use negative consequences (like time out) on occasions, but causing physical pain just feels like it's crossing a dangerous line.

~~Cuthbert~~ · 10-31-2016, 04:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aloysius

I completely agree. We hear this all the time in other guises - "my grandad smoked 2 packets a day and lived to 100", "I know someone who wasn't vaccinated and they didn't die of a horrific disease" and so on.

+

"I was circumcised and I'm fine."

Ol’ Qwerty Bastard · 10-31-2016, 05:10 PM

I was circumcised and I'm fine.

Key · 10-31-2016, 05:14 PM

I got spanked as a child, and look how I turned out.

Ol’ Qwerty Bastard · 10-31-2016, 05:15 PM

Spanked or pushed down the stairs head first as an infant?

View Poll Results: Physical punishment aganist children. Acceptable or Unacceptable?
Acceptable	50	56.82%
Unacceptable	38	43.18%
Voters: 88. You may not vote on this poll

10-31-2016, 02:18 PM	#605 (permalink)
Guybrush Juicious Maximus III Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Scabb Island Posts: 6,525	Physical punishment wasn't really something my parents did, except one time. One of my earliest memories is of my father giving me a slap on the hand for something. I guess I may have been three or four years old and I can't remember what I'd done, only the punishment. There's very little I can remember from fatherly interaction at that age, so it definitely left an impression. __________________ Something Completely Different

10-31-2016, 05:14 PM	#609 (permalink)
Key . Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 13,153	I got spanked as a child, and look how I turned out.