The Disorders and Character Flaws Thread

[Burning Down]

Originally Posted by Freebase Dali

But in all seriousness, I have a bit of an anxiety disorder, but it's not overbearing. When I get used to situations, it's totally non-existent... but in new situations I'm not accustomed to or place importance on, especially where there are large groups of people involved, I'm overly anxious to the point of showing it physically.
I never noticed it until I had joined the military, so I'm not sure if that had something to do with it, but it's one of those things I worry about now because simple things like job interviews feel like they're going to be insurmountable because I want to be as relaxed as possible, which is when I'm my clearest and most articulate.
I think the more I worry about it, the worse the anxiety becomes... like a feedback loop... making things worse.
I don't want to go on meds, and I don't think I need them because I'm not debilitated in any way apart from just being self-critical in particular circumstances due to the anxiety, and I don't want the negative side effects of those types of drugs, but I don't really have any other options than to overcome the irrational fear which is A LOT harder than it sounds.

I also have an anxiety disorder. I remember my mom took me to see a shrink when I was about 10 or 11 and I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Fits my symptoms almost to a T.

My symptoms are more pronounced during the school year because of essays, deadlines, practice schedules, rehearsals, etc. I stress over things that most people would just shake off. I don't have a problem in social situations though. In fact, I'll admit that I like to be the centre of attention.

For me, it's more of an internal thing. I'm not on any meds and I really don't want to be. Psychiatric medications just mask the problem and make you feel good about yourself when you're really not. They do not cure anything. However, there are very few side effects with these drugs. SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) like fluoxetine (Prozac) or sertraline (Zoloft) can slow down your body's ability to metabolize alcohol and caffeine (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selecti...take_inhibitor). Buspirone (Bu-Spar) is a similar drug that is prescribed specifically for generalized anxiety disorder (Buspirone - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia).

I've been keeping my anxiety symptoms under control during the school year by limiting my caffeine intake (stimulants just enhance the symptoms), and by keeping a daily agenda and breaking down my big goals and projects into smaller ones. For me, playing flute and guitar really help me to channel my frustrations and stress out of my body. Regular exercise also helps, and a healthy balanced diet. Well, fairly balanced for me since I don't eat red meat and I can't eat pork

It's hard to get sympathy from people (I'm not actively looking for it, this is just something that I've noticed over the years). Perhaps it's because this is such a complex thing to understand and only people who have it can fully understand what you're going through. I sometimes think that others are being judgemental towards people with anxiety, again probably because they don't understand it.

[CanwllCorfe]

Originally Posted by Burning Down

It's hard to get sympathy from people (I'm not actively looking for it, this is just something that I've noticed over the years). Perhaps it's because this is such a complex thing to understand and only people who have it can fully understand what you're going through. I sometimes think that others are being judgemental towards people with anxiety, again probably because they don't understand it.

I definitely agree.

On a similar sort of note I remember mentioning something about Depression to my uncle Steve and he said "Depression? Give me a break. I'm 50 and a mason and I never complain. They shouldn't either. 'Boo hoo my life sucks' ". He made it sound as if Depression and being depressed were the same thing. As if people with Depression seek chronic sadness to get attention. The ignorance was astounding.

[Astronomer]

Originally Posted by CanwllCorfe

I definitely agree.

On a similar sort of note I remember mentioning something about Depression to my uncle Steve and he said "Depression? Give me a break. I'm 50 and a mason and I never complain. They shouldn't either. 'Boo hoo my life sucks' ". He made it sound as if Depression and being depressed were the same thing. As if people with Depression seek chronic sadness to get attention. The ignorance was astounding.

This is mostly the attitude I've received throughout the years. Either "boo hoo, a lot of people have it worse than you so grow up" or, "she just does it for attention."

It really shits me because I don't want to be the way I am and attention is the last thing I want in these circumstances.

[CanwllCorfe]

Originally Posted by Lateralus

It really shits me because I don't want to be the way I am and attention is the last thing I want in these circumstances.

Precisely. It's even more upsetting because that goes against the nature of what I have. I'm extremely mindful of everyone else. At one point I didn't even care about cleanliness and hygiene. I don't think I'll ever regress to that again though.

Avoidants should always be aware of others, but others should never be aware of the avoidant. (Personality Disorders in Modern Life)

However the other day I felt uncomfortable even talking to my own cousin.. which I never thought would happen. In some ways I've made a lot of progress and in others I haven't really changed much at all.

[Sansa Stark]

I have bipolar I, I was diagnosed with it when I was probably 14/15, it didn't really manifest itself until I was 19. The second time I was institutionalised, they gave me a ****ty drug to deal with it and I got drug induced parkinsons, and nearly died. Pretty scary ****. I take a combo of meds to deal with it now, which my ex manipulated me into. It's not that bad, manic episodes can be pretty fun until I start flipping out at everyone and doing really stupid and impulsive things and think really awful things. Depressive episodes I could really do without, but it's something I gotta take one day at a time

[DearJenny]

I have social anxiety disorder. I have medication, but I am afraid of becoming dependent on it, and so is my doctor, so I use it "as needed". It's like a high dose of mental relaxers when I know I'm entering, or realized I entered, a high anxiety situation. I only go through approx 60 pills a year.

I use to see a psychologist but she was a twat.

I don't like people judging me. A lot of this is rooted in my weight issues and low self esteem because my father always commented on my weight, despite his own problems, and said I looked like a lesbian when I cut my hair short and wore baggy clothes. If my own father could say those things, what do other people think and not tell me? When I do let people close to me, specifically men, in the end when everything goes sour, they admit all their little thoughts about me, which only strengthens the fear of constant judgment.

[Freebase Dali]

Originally Posted by CityLightsLikeRain

I have social anxiety disorder. I have medication, but I am afraid of becoming dependent on it, and so is my doctor, so I use it "as needed". It's like a high dose of mental relaxers when I know I'm entering, or realized I entered, a high anxiety situation. I only go through approx 60 pills a year.

I use to see a psychologist but she was a twat.

I don't like people judging me. A lot of this is rooted in my weight issues and low self esteem because my father always commented on my weight, despite his own problems, and said I looked like a lesbian when I cut my hair short and wore baggy clothes. If my own father could say those things, what do other people think and not tell me? When I do let people close to me, specifically men, in the end when everything goes sour, they admit all their little thoughts about me, which only strengthens the fear of constant judgment.

You always feel as though you're under scrutiny, right? I have a bit of that too but it's specific to new situations. In totally brand new situations, it's near unbearable. And you know it's irrational, but you're unable to control it.
It tends to shape your life into not experiencing anything new because of the fear of having to go through it again. The thing that always helped me was alcohol, and it's probably why I enjoy it so much now.

[RVCA]

My **** is nothing compared to you guys, but I have slight OCD about utensil and dishware cleanliness. I will sit at the spoons in the dining hall, examining each one until I find an acceptable choice. (spotless) Same for cups, plates, etc.

I know it's not really OCD, just a quirk. I also wash my hands after every meal because I hate having slimy/greasy/sticky hands.

Oh, but my dad does have a terminal brain disease. My psychologist says it's not genetic, but I don't think she knows what she's talking about, given that so little is known about the particular disease my dad has. I think she's just saying that so I don't spend my entire life worrying about it

[DearJenny]

Originally Posted by Freebase Dali

You always feel as though you're under scrutiny, right? I have a bit of that too but it's specific to new situations. In totally brand new situations, it's near unbearable. And you know it's irrational, but you're unable to control it.

That's exactly it. Like I want to go out and have fun, but I often cancel plans due to made up reasons to avoid things.

[CanwllCorfe]

I have that too. Key word: avoid haha. It's even in the name of what I have!