The many benefits of a child-free life

ladyislingering · 11-30-2013, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by djchameleon

An animal's brain stays child-like for way longer than a child does developmentally. So you prefer child-like minds more so than letting them grow.

the development of the human brain is fascinating and complex, but I highly doubt an infant is going to give a damn what I'm saying to it. at least the dog will wag its tail and just generally be adorable.

I've studied human development to great lengths - this is another reason why I don't want kids. They don't seem pleasant at any stage of their development. At all. They're even miserable to have around when they're teenagers (though I assume some people luck out and their kids grow up to be really cool).

At the beginning of a child's life, you wish they could tell you what their problems are (because their primal screeching is enough to make your blood boil), and when they're 12 and melodramatic, you wish they'd shut up.

djchameleon · 11-30-2013, 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladyislingering

the development of the human brain is fascinating and complex, but I highly doubt an infant is going to give a damn what I'm saying to it. at least the dog will wag its tail and just generally be adorable.

I've studied human development to great lengths - this is another reason why I don't want kids. They don't seem pleasant at any stage of their development. At all. They're even miserable to have around when they're teenagers (though I assume some people luck out and their kids grow up to be really cool).

At the beginning of a child's life, you wish they could tell you what their problems are (because their primal screeching is enough to make your blood boil), and when they're 12 and melodramatic, you wish they'd shut up.

People don't just luck out and have kids that grow up really cool. It's called raising your child right. There is a nurture aspect to it. An infant might not respond to your words but that's why you need to speak to them properly and not in baby goo goo talk because they are learning by hearing all the words that are said to them regardless of what you think.

GuD · 11-30-2013, 10:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladyislingering

What makes someone so narrow-minded that they look at a child-free person and think "wow, they must really hate the human race!"

I've never liked kids. They make too much noise, they're terrifyingly curious and all too mobile (with hands and thumbs - two things cats don't have full control over), they smell awful, their parents are googly-eyed weirdos who say things like "oh, he's 36 months now!" (he's three, you twat).

I knew from the time I was just a little girl that the motherhood thing wasn't in my genes - it wasn't something I wanted to do. I probably held my sister twice when she was a baby. Since then I've never held a child - I don't know what to do with them (how do you even handle those squirming creatures with shit-bags on their bums?) and when they start making their horrific, unsavory noises, it's even worse.

10 years in retail/service jobs has definitely cemented my disdain for children. I don't hate them, I really don't. Some people have seemingly polite children (I assume I just see them during a "good" moment) and that's cool. I just don't want one. Why is that so difficult for some people to get their heads around?

No one's really arguing against your decision not have kids, they're just saying that (to them) having a kid isn't as horrible as you make it out to be. You're taking the worst examples of child behavior and using it as a reason for not having kids (which is totally fair) but for the most part you're also leaving out what many people enjoy about having kids. I think that's what's getting everyone all rustled up.

ladyislingering · 11-30-2013, 10:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by djchameleon

People don't just luck out and have kids that grow up really cool. It's called raising your child right. There is a nurture aspect to it. An infant might not respond to your words but that's why you need to speak to them properly and not in baby goo goo talk because they are learning by hearing all the words that are said to them regardless of what you think.

That's the truth. If you're cool and you encourage your kid to be cool, they might rebel and be a little assclown, but they might also be pretty cool.

For the most part I've always believed that babies are sensitive to tone of voice/inflection/accents/verbal cues, but not necessarily able to decode what the sounds mean to them (e.g.; words, sentences, phrases) until they start making sounds (apart from primal gurgling/screaming).

Kanga · 11-30-2013, 10:35 PM

I think ladyislingering is quite right not to have children if she can't stand them.

I'd like children one day but I've too much happening just now and too much I want to see and do before thinking about bringing children into the world. By the way, I do like babies and children and many of my friends the same age as me (26) have them and I enjoy being around them.

djchameleon · 11-30-2013, 11:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladyislingering

That's the truth. If you're cool and you encourage your kid to be cool, they might rebel and be a little assclown, but they might also be pretty cool.

For the most part I've always believed that babies are sensitive to tone of voice/inflection/accents/verbal cues, but not necessarily able to decode what the sounds mean to them (e.g.; words, sentences, phrases) until they start making sounds (apart from primal gurgling/screaming).

Yeah, they definitely respond to tone of voice and that starts from when the baby is still in the womb.

here is an example of a baby responding to its mother's voice.

~~Lord Larehip~~ · 12-01-2013, 08:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by John Wilkes Booth

Speaking of babies, I dislike being pressured to 'talk' to them. I feel like there's no way to do it effectively without debasing myself. If you have a baby and you want me to acknowledge it then I'll just send the mandatory compliments directly to you. Don't ask me to talk to the kid.

Talking to babies is essential to their development. Acting aloof to them denies them the sensory inputs they must have in order to do little things like learn how to talk and how to communicate. You can see it in animals. They become friendlier if you talk to them. Hell, you can see it in adults. Act aloof towards them and they'll return the favor.

Burning Down · 12-01-2013, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladyislingering

For the most part I've always believed that babies are sensitive to tone of voice/inflection/accents/verbal cues, but not necessarily able to decode what the sounds mean to them (e.g.; words, sentences, phrases) until they start making sounds (apart from primal gurgling/screaming).

Babies also react to musical tones, and that stretches all the way back to when they are in utero. A couple of years ago, I was assisting with a longitudinal research project in music psychology, where we studied how fetuses interpret musical tones and songs. We had 20 pregnant women in the study, and at 5 months along we did the first test by playing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and asking the women to note movement of the fetus - they all moved when the music played and stopped when the music was off. Then at 8 months, the women came back for the same test and most reported more movement of the fetus. At that point in pregnancy, the fetus can hear more sounds and can also feel sound vibrations.

Then we waited until all the babies were born, and at 3 months of age 19 of them came back (one woman had unfortunately learned that her baby was completely deaf. She moved in the womb only because she could feel the vibrations). So we played the same version of Twinkle Twinkle again, but this time with an altered note. The babies were happy and laughing until the wrong note - all the babies just froze up with a confused look, and one actually cried a bit, lol. By that age, babies are capable of a basic interpretation of the sounds around them, based on what they heard while in the uterus. So that's why they were all confused by the wrong note.

**Janszoon** · 12-01-2013, 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burning Down

Babies also react to musical tones, and that stretches all the way back to when they are in utero. A couple of years ago, I was assisting with a longitudinal research project in music psychology, where we studied how fetuses interpret musical tones and songs. We had 20 pregnant women in the study, and at 5 months along we did the first test by playing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and asking the women to note movement of the fetus - they all moved when the music played and stopped when the music was off. Then at 8 months, the women came back for the same test and most reported more movement of the fetus. At that point in pregnancy, the fetus can hear more sounds and can also feel sound vibrations.

Then we waited until all the babies were born, and at 3 months of age 19 of them came back (one woman had unfortunately learned that her baby was completely deaf. She moved in the womb only because she could feel the vibrations). So we played the same version of Twinkle Twinkle again, but this time with an altered note. The babies were happy and laughing until the wrong note - all the babies just froze up with a confused look, and one actually cried a bit, lol. By that age, babies are capable of a basic interpretation of the sounds around them, based on what they heard while in the uterus. So that's why they were all confused by the wrong note.

That's some fascinating stuff. It's amazing to think that babies can pick out one wrong note like that.

Burning Down · 12-01-2013, 08:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janszoon

That's some fascinating stuff. It's amazing to think that babies can pick out one wrong note like that.

It's extremely fascinating. I also assisted with this study with babies and toddlers.

Babies and children actually interpret and understand a lot more in terms of speech and body language than animals do.

I could actually start a whole topic on music cognition and psychology (actually I think there was one at one point), and also with music and autistic children. I just wouldn't know where to start, lol.

View Poll Results: How do you plead?
I'm a parent	11	17.74%
I'm a child-free woman/man	24	38.71%
I want to have kids someday (please explain)	18	29.03%
I'm undecided	9	14.52%
Voters: 62. You may not vote on this poll

11-30-2013, 10:35 PM	#205 (permalink)
Kanga Groupie Join Date: Oct 2013 Location: The middle of nowhere, Australia Posts: 8	I think ladyislingering is quite right not to have children if she can't stand them. I'd like children one day but I've too much happening just now and too much I want to see and do before thinking about bringing children into the world. By the way, I do like babies and children and many of my friends the same age as me (26) have them and I enjoy being around them.