Engine

Not true. I knew a 22 year old kid in college who had a wife pregnant with their 3rd child. He was a top student, focused on a successful career despite never getting to sleep. He told me that he and his wife had planned it that way. They were having three kids total and would raise them young while they had energy so they could still have a life of their own when they were still relatively young and energetic. Smarter than most parents whose lives end when the children erupt.

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Taxman

Could be so also. I think there's not a single right answer. Different situations, different people and so on so it is pretty useless to do these generalizations, I must admit. Let's just hope everyone's happy with the way of life she/he has chosen. Who are we to judge?

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The Batlord

Exactly. I mean you have enough of that already, am I right?

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Lisnaholic

^ Yes, Engine, I´d agree. In some ways it may not be the wisest choice, but I know a couple of teenage mothers who have done a great job with their children. One thing I noticed about their decisions is that suddenly they had the status of women from about 300 years ago; financially dependent on others and with no real travel/career opportunities - didn´t seem to worry them much, though..

I agree 100% with Burning Down´s comments:-

My sympathies go out to Ki, whose vasectomy dilema became a matter of public debate. For the record, at a time when it was significant for me, I also decided against.

^ Yep, people often change their ideas as they get older - and plenty of parents start out with misgivings, but then step up and do the right thing by their kids. Plenty who go in an uglier direction as well, I suppose...

Easy to guess by now that I am in the pro-child camp, as long as parents do what they can to get the attitude, circumstances and numbers right. I also respect Junkyard D and ladyislingering for defending the right to their opinions and choices. JD particularly seems very well informed and has made various irrefutable points.

^ On the other hand, I think this list deserves a bit of counterbalancing from someone who has negotiated these hazards. By all means feel that these things are disagreeable, ladyislingering, but before you terrify too many potential parents, I´d like to make some comments based on my own experience:-

#10,9,6,5: In many countries today, soap, water and tissues are available; they provide a quick and simple remedy for matters of personal hygiene. If you manage to do it for your own body, it´s not really so offensive to apply the same techniques to a baby, and my child spent more time being clean than being dirty.
Yes, #8 can be difficult when you are under pressure.
#5 - actually, mouths are pretty co-ordinated from day one. It´s the mothers, not the babies, who may need instruction about how to breast-feed.
#4 - "never again" is perhaps over-stating the case.
#3 - that´s a good point, although according to FETCHER and Lady Diana, it´s possible to bounce back to previous form.
#2 - noises can be a problem, a challenge, but a great source of fun too. To make a baby laugh is a wonderful experience.

Anyway, as I say, you are perfectly entitled to your opinion, ladyislingering - in fact I have two siblings who think pretty much as you do, and they seem as contented as the two teen mums that I started this post with.

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"Am I enjoying this moment? I know of it and perhaps that is enough." - Sybille Bedford, 1953

Plankton

When my daughter was born I was 27, and her mother was 20. I had already been through the military, and college ($30,000 G.I. bill helped that), and her mother had no formal training, skills or a future for that matter. Nor did she have any inclination to do anything about it. We had our child out of wedlock, and me being the good-natured person that I am , welcomed the new chapter in my life. When my daughter was born, I was there. I absolutely wanted to be there. My mother was in the same hospital getting part of her lower intestine removed, on the same floor but in a different wing. I had a serious sinus infection, and had a job interview that same day as well. I went to the interview, got the job, came back to the hospital, and as it couldn't have been timed any more perfectly, my daughter came into this world. The doctor gave her to me, and as our eyes met for the first time, my daughter smiled at me. That moment right there would be the basis of the next 20 years. I can't tell you how beautiful that moment in my life was. Words cannot describe all the feelings that went through me as I held our little creation in my loving arms.

Fast forward to last night as we were visiting my Dad (her grandfather), and I was thinking about how she has grown into a responsible young adult, figuring out her future. She's transferring from Community College to the Art Institute for her degree in Design and how excited she is. I can't tell you the pride I feel. The little things that others find to be annoyances (snot, diapers, etc.) were just part of what needed to be done. Of course it was a lot of work, but as many of you know the feeling of accomplishment from achieving something from just plain old nose to the grindstone mindset, I am and will continue to be fulfilled. I understand it's not something that would be expected from everyone and I respect that. I can only sit back and beam with pride as my daughter fills my heart with love each and every single day.

Just wanted to reveal the other side of the coin here. Cheers my friends.

Edit: Posted this as Lisnaholic was presenting the same idea. Couldn't be any more spot on Lis.

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Cuthbert

OK let me rephrase, most people who have kids that age are stupid and don't plan for it. There may be exceptions but generally yes.

ladyislingering

Not especially, but do us a favor and eat rat poison.

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DarkSkies

I am a new parent. I had my daughter when I was 28, because I wasn't anywhere near ready to have a child before that, even though she was still a bit of an accident. I think she's wonderful, motherhood is wonderful, and everything she does is wonderful (of course).

But, I don't see anything wrong with a woman not wanting a child. It's one of those points that in this time and century, it's silly we're even still really concerned about.

Some of us are successful adults getting to live the successful lifestyle, getting all the fancy home furnishings and cool grown up vacations. Others like me are in the Costco aisle buying 20 pounds of peanut butter with kids climbing around in the cart.

We can both be equally happy in our own ways.

Plankton

I like you. Not in a creepy way. Well said.

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Engine

Yeah I agree. My example was the one time that I've heard of such a thing. There's definitely something to be said for getting the child bearing out of the way early though.

As for vasectomy, I also knew a guy who got one when he was 20/21. It seemed kind of weird at the time but I was also sort of jealous. Plus there is a pretty high success rate of reversal in case one decides to try to have kids later.

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Like an arrow,
I was only passing through.