War on Thanksgiving
 

Have you noticed that Christmas is coming earlier each year? Seems especially early to me this year. November is the month of Thanksgiving, let Christmas wait its turn. That fat Santa fuck will be eating his cookies soon, let's make it more about becoming an even fatter fuck than Santa (Satan? Oh shit). It just goes to show that the priorities of the nation are materialistic. You care more about getting free shit and eating a shitload and fattening yourself up more than just the fattening yourself up part? You get to do it twice, motherfuckers, let's take this month back for the turkey with bread crumbs stuffed up its ass. It's time to end this war on Thanksgiving, where the devil is taking the giving out thanksgiving and thanks too because that makes it sound pretty bad since you won't even be saying thanks when you get things but you also won't be giving things, so it's pretty bad, dude.

Save your Christmas boner for December, cocksuckers.

Say a prayer for November.

Aren't you the guy who said you hold grudges against people who give ****ty gifts this time last year? lol.


I like the festivities of both but Christmas doesn't involve horrifying levels of turkey slaughtering.

Thanksgiving is for losers.

Yeah it does. My family eats turkey for Christmas all the time. Either that or ham. So I guess the massacre is divided between turkeys and pigs.

thanksgiving is for eating fattening food in commemoration of the white man's victory over the native primitives that inhabited this land before us.

I should post my recipe for stuffed acorn squash... s'quite the filling entree, super healthy, and totally a thanksgiving kind of dish.

You're right. Thanksgiving is glorious.

F*ck Thanksgiving...

Well, you Yanks are so backwards; you have it a month later than you should. :rolleyes:

They're different holidays with different histories, you twit. They just have the same name. And I don't even know why Canadians even celebrate Thanksgiving. They still have to live in Canada.

American Thanksgiving is the only Thanksgiving that counts. People have no hearts and the white men who drove the natives out of their land are being persecuted by this Christmas obsessed culture.

Yeah, I know, but don't you think the Pilgrims could have timed it better? I mean seriously, why have a big turkey dinner in November when you know you're going to be stuffing yourself all over again in a month? Seems to me like laziness, not planning ahead enough.

the pilgrims didn't celebrate christmas cause they were too puritanical for that kind of pagan bull****.

You're supposed to be a fat fuck once winter hits, and becoming a fatter fuck during the winter is ideal as well. The pilgrims timed it right.

This is why Canadians suck ass.

Canadian: "Oh, I just ate an entire turkey. I don't want to eat a pig so soon."

American: "I just ate a ****in' turkey! Gimme a god damn pig!"

i was unaware that canada even had their own thanksgiving up until now... that's kind of curious to me. like what is it that makes you feel you need a holiday to give thanks for having canada. like anybody was really going to fight you for that massive frozen piece of tundra.

We tried to fight them for it in 1812.

did we? we must've been bored as ****.

Did we actually fight them for it, or did they just go to war with us like good little British subjects?

Aye, and we kicked your arses. (Oh no, here comes the whole "Who won the War of 1812" business.)

Hey, we would have flattened you if the Brits hadn't been fighting France at the same time.

you very well might have... we weren't a real superpower back then so it's not saying much. today you would get got easily though.

Not to derail the thread but I'll be doing this for Gobble Day.

One approx. 5-6 pound turkey breast – fully thawed.

Cut the breasts off of the bone, rinse well, and pat dry.

Brine:

1.5 cups water
1 cup fresh squeezed orange juice
2 tbsp orange zest
2 tbsp salt
1 tbsp sugar
1 tsp whole black peppercorns
8 sprigs fresh thyme

Bring everything to a boil and then let cool to room temperature.

Soak the breasts in the brine covered in the fridge for at least 3-4 hours. Use a non-reactive bowl. (Something that won't corrode from all of the salt and citric acid)

Heat oven to 350°. Pat the breasts dry and then rub them with good olive oil. Bake for about 1 hour or until the meat measures 160° at its thickest point.

Gravy:

Break up the bones from the turkey breast and add them to a large pot.
1 box low sodium chicken stock
2 carrots peeled and sliced into chunks
3 celery stocks sliced into chunks
2 bay leaves
1 tsp whole black peppercorns

Bring to a boil then reduce the heat and simmer for 1 hour.
Strain the liquid into a saucepan and then whisk in about 2 tbsp of all purpose flour.
Simmer for about 20 minutes stirring constantly.
Strain again to remove any flour lumps.

Hmmm. I will be at my sister in laws watching football and yelling, "is that damn bird done yet!".

I inadvertently made the 2014 Thanksgiving thread :laughing:

No, England would have flattened us, and then given you a biscuit for being a good boy.

No, you guys won. Quebec isn't one of our states and you burned Washington DC down. Points go to you.

lol @ here goes the whole "who won the war of 1812" business

i'm guessing this is some sort of heated issue to canadians and other chronically bored mother****ers.

Canadians? Yes. Most Americans aren't even aware it happened.

We in the UK don't even know what the **** Thanksgiving is, but the ridiculous Christmas campaign here starts in October and is cleverly designed to get people to spend a fortune every Christmas.

Probably because you've been trying to forget about it for the past two hundred years.

I'd retort, but my knowledge of American military history is restricted to cool wars.

After Canada burned down Washington DC:

"Sorry."

What's with people giving credit to Canada for things that England did? Did America win the Seven Years' War and defeat Austria just cause we fought the French and Indian War?

Another derail.

1 - can of whole berry cranberry sauce
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
3 - tblsp balsamic vinegar

Toast the walnuts in a dry fry pan until they get really fragrant and almost start to char. Let cool.

Mix everything together and chill for a couple of hours.

Super simple but elevates plain old cranberry sauce a ton.

Batty and I argue over the War of 1812, Chula tries to make peace by inserting savoury recipes, Frownland sits back and gloats about his thread. Man, this place rocks sometimes.

This thread makes me angry and hungry. Whats a good recipe for some hate food?

3 lbs (1.3kg) severed remains of all who oppose you
1 first born son from any of above
5-6 lemon wedges (optional)

Toss gently in a large mixing bowl

Serve cold

Sounds delish. Maybe toss some fava beans in there too.

Maybe a nice chianti


http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view1/226...-chianti-o.gif