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Old 04-14-2018, 07:49 PM   #51 (permalink)
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I made a little timeline for the life of this crazy person Lucem depicted.

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Originally Posted by Lucem Ferre View Post
Your teacher gives you a math problem that you struggle with? Stab them in the crotch until their clothes are soaked with blood then tear out their eyes with a pen then staple them to the chalk board.
Safe to say the guy couldn't graduate from school after this and in fact went straight to prison but he got his GED there.

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Originally Posted by Lucem Ferre
Your boss asks you to stay late? Slam their ****ing head against the wall until it's reduced to pulp.
Then he fckd up the one job he could get after prison.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucem Ferre
Your spouse keeps nagging you about the dishes? Bend the bitch over and rape them in the ass and pull their head back by the hair while you shove a hot curling iron down their ****ing throat.
And ofc with those anger issues his marriage was inevitable gonna end so his wife divorced him and took the kids, the house, everything, and that's how he ended up here.

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Originally Posted by Lucem Ferre
Now, will any of these solve your problems? Idk probably, but they are options. But the only true solution for any problem is suicide.
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You could describe a pile of manure in intense detail and it will still just be bullshit in the end.
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Old 04-14-2018, 07:51 PM   #52 (permalink)
one-balled nipple jockey
 
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Originally Posted by Lucem Ferre View Post
Why'd they do it in the sink? Like, who cares about the mess, you don't have to clean it, it's somebody else's problem.
Flushing the open wounds (held below the heart) with warm water helps the blood drain faster.
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Old 04-14-2018, 07:53 PM   #53 (permalink)
Put The Cult In Culture
 
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That is the most beautiful story I've ever heard and I hope you know that I own at least 50% of the rights to that story.
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Lucem, you're right, it's silly to talk about what I would or wouldn't do IRL. Glad you brought it up. Maybe you should write an instrumental about it. I recommend a piano paired with a clarinet. With ambient sounds of you hanging from your shower curtain you ****ing failure.

Art Is Dead. Buy My ****.
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Old 04-14-2018, 09:15 PM   #54 (permalink)
Fck Ths Thngs
 
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You cant staple things to a chalk board.
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He'll tick tick, tick tick, tick tick tick away;
another second lost with every fallen grain.
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Old 04-14-2018, 11:08 PM   #55 (permalink)
Put The Cult In Culture
 
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Originally Posted by DwnWthVwls View Post
You cant staple things to a chalk board.
Not with small staples, you can't. But with a staple gun you can. Big industrial staples.
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Quote:
Lucem, you're right, it's silly to talk about what I would or wouldn't do IRL. Glad you brought it up. Maybe you should write an instrumental about it. I recommend a piano paired with a clarinet. With ambient sounds of you hanging from your shower curtain you ****ing failure.

Art Is Dead. Buy My ****.
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Old 04-15-2018, 02:18 AM   #56 (permalink)
Toasted Poster
 
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[youtube]=LtYg1xz1A00[/youbube]
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To write a bizarro erotica book that had Kirk Cameron hooking up with a Crocoduck. I just loved the idea and I felt it was timely after the gay marriage ruling. It was definitely meant to be subversive. I knew that once Cheese Jesus had sex with Kirk I was being really naughty.

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Old 04-15-2018, 03:42 AM   #57 (permalink)
one-balled nipple jockey
 
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[youtube]=LtYg1xz1A00[/youbube]
Still on the sauce, eh?
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Old 04-15-2018, 05:13 AM   #58 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DwnWthVwls View Post
You cant staple things to a chalk board.
You gonna be the one to tell him that, with the blood all over him and the madness in his eyes? Let him try: give you time to escape out the back door.
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[youtube]=LtYg1xz1A00[/youbube]

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Still on the sauce, eh?
Hope he's not driving, too.
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Old 04-15-2018, 05:31 AM   #59 (permalink)
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Does he usually only post personal stuff, drama or broken code?
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Old 04-15-2018, 09:14 AM   #60 (permalink)
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[youtube]=LtYg1xz1A00[/youbube]
I hope Goof sigs this one as well.
Almost as good as

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chula Vista
[youtube]NUmCWGPgU7g[/url]
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