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Old 05-29-2020, 12:43 AM   #2181 (permalink)
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I definitely felt worse in my 20s, (one's 20s definitely feel more volatile, in general) but then my brother died and set me back 5 years mental health-wise. (Am 31 now) I've also heard of lots of people who were perfectly fine until their early 30s and suddenly had a catastrophic manic/psychotic episode, though, so.

Also, oatmeal raisin cookies are great >:v especially if you soak them (um, the raisins that is) in a dessert liqueur for a bit before adding them to the cookie dough.

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And Chio, I agree with Lisna that any kind of support group is probably better than nothing. The people there will understand your issues better than people not struggling with mental health, I think
I guess. I don't even know what groups they offer here. I hear DBT can be very helpful.

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Same boat. I've had some great therapists and psychiatrists, but I've been diagnosed with at least 4 different things over the course of my life in order to find out what my deal was. I've definitely mellowed out, and I couldn't tell you what I had/have, but the general consensus between my doctors right now is that I most likely have a combination of chronic depression and anxiety.
I suppose the more important thing is finding the right meds.

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I think I’m about as Dixie as any mf in this madhouse. Even down here there’s good folks. Kind people who at least want to help. That’s a hardcore question but if you’re at that level for God’s sake don’t hurt yourself. Reach out for help. Like for me, and I’m not equating anything but for me just changing to the community health folks and getting a new primary physician - just that fact that I can see she cares - it helps

That one right person can save your life.

That’s my take.
Well, before the quarantine I was going to the local sliding scale clinic. Is that the same sort of place you go to, or? (They are closed still; all they can do now is give medication refills by phone) They'd always just say "if you're feeling suicidal, call 911." Neither my social worker nor my psychiatrist (one doesn't always get the same psychiatrist each time at this place, but luckily I have so far) has even mentioned any sort of available therapy or support groups to me during our visits. You'd think they would mention it if it was available there. I have seen people waiting at the clinic for group therapy sessions, but they all seemed to be drug addiction related groups. One is lucky to get assigned a decent doctor at these clinics, it seems like. I like mine; she's just a little old lady but she has the energy/demeanor of a hard-boiled detective.
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Old 05-29-2020, 01:43 AM   #2182 (permalink)
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Quote:
Is that the same sort of place you go to, or?
Yes, it is.

Most groups are for addicts. That’s true.

I wish full confidentiality applied even for talk of suicide/homicide whatever

Both sides are in a pickle with that one

Odd thing about being suicidal for me is that when I start getting better I start taking actions to improve things. That’s when if you just add up the pros and cons of living it can get really dangerous. I think suicides at my age are usually pretty well thought out.
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Old 05-29-2020, 02:03 AM   #2183 (permalink)
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I like to think that if you're being totally rational you'd say "well im going to die naturally anyway, let's wait it out"

that's where I'm at these days anyway

but only assuming you're not in physical or mental agony
That just wait for death also applied to periods where I’d stay in bed 23 hours a day and wouldn’t bath or brush my teeth for several days

Those were times of long ass drunks / where I’d grab the bottle before my wake up piss even - assuming I didn’t piss my pants which I usually did

Which is why I warn you. Alcoholism is the not funnest thing I know about. And it keeps getting worse and crazier. It’s ****ing merciless.
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Old 05-29-2020, 02:29 AM   #2184 (permalink)
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I stopped drinking cold turkey

I don't get addicted that way, I just go through 6 month periods of absolute misery
I know it will seem to you that old drunks - recovering alcoholics - are always going to say this

But every time you post things like that “I can stop any time” it’s so classic alcoholic - sigh - I guess it just has to go this way

Addiction doesn’t follow a movie script. It seems like by definition if you can take long breaks you’re not an addict. It’s not that simple.
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Old 05-29-2020, 03:34 AM   #2185 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by OccultHawk View Post
Yes, it is.

Most groups are for addicts. That’s true.

I wish full confidentiality applied even for talk of suicide/homicide whatever

Both sides are in a pickle with that one

Odd thing about being suicidal for me is that when I start getting better I start taking actions to improve things. That’s when if you just add up the pros and cons of living it can get really dangerous. I think suicides at my age are usually pretty well thought out.
Well of course, one must be thorough and practical. It's only polite.

When they ask me "Are you suicidal?" I just tell them "I'd rather not have a physical body" and they peer at me suspiciously and move on to the next question. (And how do they expect us to answer? "Call 911 if you're going to hurt yourself," they say, as if we're all falling over ourselves to get saddled with a massive ambulance bill) I'm just worried that they'll ask me that on a day when I'm actively psychotic or something. (...Last time I stopped taking my Latuda, I thought I was the reincarnation of Saint Catherine of Siena and had to throw myself off a building once god gave me the signal. I somehow managed to hide my insanity while at an appointment and the doctor just remarked that I "seem a bit hypomanic", not suicidal, since I was speaking in gibberish code instead of directly saying I was planning to die soon.)

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I don't get addicted that way
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Old 05-29-2020, 07:04 AM   #2186 (permalink)
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Hi, goldendoodle! I didn't realise that you used to be Chiomara. I'm sorry that you've been having such problems. I had no idea.

@Elphenor: I once worked with a guy who built up a reputation as a competent professional in our office; he worked well for around 3 months, then came back from lunch one day very drunk, loudly confessing that he was a "bout alcoholic". To use the Zappa phrase, he "lost control of his body functions" and my boss had to send him home. Please never be that guy, Elph.
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Old 05-29-2020, 07:26 AM   #2187 (permalink)
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Hi, goldendoodle! I didn't realise that you used to be Chiomara. I'm sorry that you've been having such problems. I had no idea.

@Elphenor: I once worked with a guy who built up a reputation as a competent professional in our office; he worked well for around 3 months, then came back from lunch one day very drunk, loudly confessing that he was a "bout alcoholic". To use the Zappa phrase, he "lost control of his body functions" and my boss had to send him home. Please never be that guy, Elph.
Don't worry, elph will never build up a reputation as a competent professional.

jk, take care of yourselp elph. Alcohol sucks.
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Old 05-29-2020, 09:57 AM   #2188 (permalink)
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I know it will seem to you that old drunks - recovering alcoholics - are always going to say this

But every time you post things like that “I can stop any time” it’s so classic alcoholic - sigh - I guess it just has to go this way

Addiction doesn’t follow a movie script. It seems like by definition if you can take long breaks you’re not an addict. It’s not that simple.
It really is textbook addict reasoning. "I'm not an alcoholic because I can control my drinking- look, I've gone x days without" or "I can stick to only two drinks a day." You can still be an alcoholic and have the ability to restrict your intake, its ultimately about your relationship with alcohol.
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Old 05-29-2020, 10:07 AM   #2189 (permalink)
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I don't want this to sound like I'm on Elph's side or anything but my quitting smoking was strange and I'm wondering what you guys think.

It's simple. I smoked cigarettes for over a decade every single day and tried quitting multiple times. I never got to a pack a day but 6-8 was the normal. Habitual smoking that HAD to happen if I was, say, on a long car ride or needed to kill time. If I didn't have a cigarette, I'd be very uncomfortable, which is what I interpreted as addiction.

One day last summer I woke up and said "I don't feel like smoking today. Weird. Well, I'm sure I'll want to at some point."

I eventually had to throw my half full pack of cigarettes out. It was like a switch flipped. I didn't even have to try. I just didn't and don't want to smoke cigarettes anymore. I've never beaten something so easily. The first level of f*cking Sonic the Hedgehog was easier.

I don't get it.
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Old 05-29-2020, 10:22 AM   #2190 (permalink)
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That's kinda how I quit too, it just lost its appeal one day. I've smoked two cigarettes on a whim at parties/bars since then, but the urge to smoke just never came back.

It's different from alcohol though. Based on what I've seen in family members and my parents' friends is that if your drinking is to the point of causing problems with your life then you're dealing with a lifelong addiction no matter how long you stay sober. **** lingers.
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