Your momma's so old she lost her virginity to Jesus.

A Catholic priest and a Rabbi are standing on a streetcorner. A little boy walks by. The priest nudges the Rabbi and whispers, "Hey! Let's screw him!" The Rabbi looks confused and asks, "Outta what?"

This ones sick, but what the fuck.

What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Xmas?...
























...Cancer.

^^...........you're going to hell.....

I'm a Protestant...no such thing.

Blonde joke...

A blonde calls her boyfriend on the phone with a problem.

"What's the matter?" he asks.

"Well, I've bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard.

None of the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges."

"What's the picture of?", he asks.

"It's of a big rooster", she replies.

"All right," he says, "I'll come over and have a look."

When he arrives, she thanks him for coming over and leads him over to the kitchen table where she has it laid out. He takes one look at what she's been struggling with and says, "Oh, for fuck's sake, put the cornflakes back in the box!"

HAHAHAHAHHAH:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Check it out, this is old but....

This blonde lady gets fired for screwing middle management for a job. A couple days later, she goes and aplies for a job at a Tickle Me Elmo factory right outside her town. She gets an interview and after some "debating" the foreman hires her. He explains her job to her and tells her to start Monday.

Monday rolls around, the foreman's doing some paper work in his office. One of the floor supervisors bursts into his office, "Boss, we got a problom!"

"What is it?"

"You gotta see this." the supervisor says half laughing. Now the foreman's intrigued, so he goes out to have a look. He sees Elmos piled up all over the floor! The supervisor leads him to the source of the problom, and they find the new blonde sitting in a chair with Elmos piled up everywhere around her, a big ball of red yarn, some red cloth and a huge sac of marbles.

They watch as she takes two marbles, wraps them in the cloth and sows 'em to the dolls. The foreman explodes laughing! After a minute or so she's baffled and asks, "What's wrong?"

The foreman still giggling replies, "You misunderstood me! I said give Elmo two test-tickles!"

Soo this isnt offensive but i dont care..

Why did the plane crash?










Because the pilot was a loaf of bread !!! :rofl:

:rofl:

:laughing:

:rofl:

:laughing:

That made me laugh soooo hard. You are quite the comic LesPaul.
Wow, I can't stop laughing.
That was such a good joke, you are soo good LesPaul.

HAHAHAHAHAH!

:rofl: :laughing: :rofl:

Hahahhahahahhahahah
Oh god, scott that was gold.

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

That pwned.

BHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAH THAT is the greatest joke ever

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

~~Chinese Proverbs~~

> >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >Man who run in front of car get tired.
> >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >Man who run behind car get exhausted.
> >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok
> >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >Man with one chopstick go hungry.
> >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
> >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
> >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
> >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.
> >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
> >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
> >*~*~*~*~*~! *~*~*~*~*
> >Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
> >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
> >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
> >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
> >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
> >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
> >*~! *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
> >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
> >Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
> >*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


Emo joke: How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb, 3 1 to replace it and 2 to write a song about the old one

Those 2 were good.

ha, brilliant.

Knock knock....

Who's there?

Keith

Keith who?

Keith me sthweetheart.

=/

What do a 300 lb. woman and a brick have in common?
Eventually a Mexican's gonna lay them!

What did the Mexican say when two houses fell on him?
Get off me Homes!

Why did the blonde co-ed have sex with a Mexican?
Her professor told her to do an essay!

Blonde joke:

3 chicks, a blonde, a brunette and a red-head... So they're driving along in a deserted road and their car brakes down, they take drastic measures and take a part of the car each.

So the brunette goes I'll take the seats so I can sit down and sleep comfortably, then the red-head goes I'll take the roof for shelter.

Then finally the blonde goes I'm gunna take the door, then they ask "Why"?

And she answers... Because If I get hot then I can wind the window down.
*cool drum noise**claps*

I didn't giggle once. Or you don't have humor, or I'm in a bad mood. Crack me up, that's an order!

I probably said it wrong:(

What did 50 Cent say when he saw his grandmother making socks for him?























































Gee, you knit?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! :rofl: :laughing: :rofl: :laughing:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!

Omg. I'm seriously laughing. I guess only the worst jokes make me giggle. -sets off to clean room while giggling-

An Aussie joke
 

This for the Aussie or maybe New Zealanders if you like Rugby League

So this teacher moves to Redfurn to teach, and in her new class she goes...
"OK guy's who's a fan of the Bulldogs here" And everyone except one person put up their hands. So the teacher asks "So why don't you like the bulldogs" And the girl replies "I go for the Sea Eagles because my parents do".

So then the teacher says "You don't have to do the same thing your parent's do here's an example... Say your mum was a whore, your dad was a drug dealer, and your brother was in prision what would happen then?"

And then the girl replies..."Then I would be a Bulldogs fan" :D

Lol, some of these are really offensive ..

Ya think? /sarcasm

why did the monkey fall out of the tree?






























IT WAS DEAD!! :D








why did the girl fall off the swing??






























she didnt have any arms!!!!!

Am I the only one that thinks offensive jokes are just about the worst thing ever. Maybe I take my comedy too seriously, but put in some effort and use some timing.

Im not impressed to got a laugh from a gas station attendant because its Taboo to hate black people.

A guy walks into a petrol station.

******

Banned

Just wondering.... What for? I don't get the joke:S

How long is he banned for?

Take a shot in the dark. For pretty much the same think I see wrong with your avatar. Which I have yet to address with the other Mod's.

There was no joke, Hiu enjoys attacking entire historical attorcities because the knitting club didn't meet at moms this week.

Well RT put it as my avatar and had no problem with it, in the PM he acctually said he hoped it worked...

True I did. :o:
And against my better judgement it seems.
I'm with Big3 on this Blainka, so if you'll send me another I'll change it for you mate.
I know there is no malice intended on your part. :)

A week I believe.
And if anyone is wondering why... hiu pushes his luck with some of his posts.
He has to remember he has been banned previously for life, under another username and several times, temporarily, under his current one.

If he wishes to continue posting on MB then he has to quit being arrogant and insolent, as the post following Big3's illustrates and show some respect.

What do snowmen do in the summertime???

















http://i50.photobucket.com/albums/f3...p/image001.gif