but then you'd just waste them on porn...

I wish it was April

wish granted but you get hit with a monsoon

i wish alex was awake

... so he can give you a white glove!! hah hah!!

i wish i didnt have to work tomorrow

Because tomorrow is the apocalypse and it really sucks having to spend your last day alive on the job.

I wish the ice caps would finish melting already.

but then you'd owe me a dollar

i wish i had a carton of camels

But then you'd die.

I wish I had a Carton of Camels to send to Mike.

Unfortunately he died last night in a horrific car accident involving a semi hauling petroleum.

I wish I would stop breathing.

ok, but then youd be as dead as me

i wish, ihad 3 dollars for everytime some uses the word the

^ But everyone now says 'da' instead of 'the'

I wish i had a time machine

But then you'd inadvertently kill your ancestor and wipe yourself from time.

I wish I wasn't single