"Brent can watch but he has to pay a hundred."

atleast i'm house broken

"What's that?"
"The uzi."
"Uzi!?"
"You didn't think i was going out there naked did you?"

The dude abids or in my case is going to bed. Keep being handsome

Hell I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon....with nail polish. These amateurs.

i love the whole toe bit,.....

its like what lenin said,...you look at the person who will benefit,...and you,..and uhh

A guy I work with told our boss he cant can't work on Saturdays because of shobba shabbas and he never has to work weekends, because my sheltered-life fool of a boss has never seen this movie.

are you ****in kiddin me?
thats great,.......and besides that is he anything remotely like walter? i really want a friend like walter,...


here's another one of my fav quotes,.....but i had to look it up so i dont mess it up

What's this day of rest ****? What's this bull****? I don't ****in' care! It don't matter to Jesus. But you're not foolin' me, man. You might fool the ****s in the league office, but you don't fool Jesus. This bush league psyche-out stuff. Laughable, man - ha ha! I would have ****ed you in the ass Saturday. I **** you in the ass next Wednesday instead. Wooo! You got a date Wednesday, baby!Nobody ****s with the jesus


and i and i also love it when maude is asking the dude if he enjoys sex,....

you mean coitus?

Let me tell you something Bendejo. You pull any crazy **** with us. You flash a piece out on the lanes I'll take it from you, stick it up your ass and pull the trigger till' it goes 'click'.

cue the gypsy kings 'hotel cali'

"I am the walrus"