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Old 10-13-2024, 12:14 AM   #651 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Drjohnrock View Post
A dog calls 911:

Operator: "911, what is your emergency/"

Dog: "My owner's been gone for two whole seconds!"

Operator: "Wow, that's a real emergency! Is there a couch there you can tear up?"
wait shouldn't the emergency be that the dog is talking or does that surprise no one anymore
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"SMOKE CRACK MUDA****KKA"

I'll check that dictionary, but in the meantime I'm impressed - as is everyone else in the world - by your eloquence, obvious accomplishments and success, and the evidence of your blazingly high intelligence.
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Old 10-14-2024, 09:46 PM   #652 (permalink)
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wait shouldn't the emergency be that the dog is talking or does that surprise no one anymore

Where’s your imagination, Tristan? Don’t be so literal minded. You wouldn’t happen to be an accountant, would you?
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Old 02-23-2025, 06:23 PM   #653 (permalink)
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Yeah, I'm bumping this thread. ...I thought I'd tell a chemistry joke, but I'm afraid I wouldn't get a reaction.
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Old 02-23-2025, 08:58 PM   #654 (permalink)
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Yeah, I'm bumping this thread. ...I thought I'd tell a chemistry joke, but I'm afraid I wouldn't get a reaction.
I see what you did there.

Why did the old man fall into the well?

He couldn’t see that well.
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Old 02-23-2025, 09:47 PM   #655 (permalink)
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I see what you did there.

Why did the old man fall into the well?

He couldn’t see that well.
I see, said the blind man as he picked up his hammer and saw.

...Actually, I was going to share a salty joke, but then I thought, Na....
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Old 07-21-2025, 03:45 PM   #656 (permalink)
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Say the vowels in the following name out loud and in the order they appear. As Tristan Geoff would say, you'll thank me later:

Celine Dion
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Old 09-04-2025, 07:28 PM   #657 (permalink)
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A five album Beastie Boys compilation will be isssued soon. Instead of numbering the albums Part 1, Part 2, etc., they will be assigned letters: A, B, C, etc. You will be able to download Parts A through D for free, but you'll have to fight for your right to Part E.
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Old 09-04-2025, 10:47 PM   #658 (permalink)
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A five album Beastie Boys compilation will be isssued soon. Instead of numbering the albums Part 1, Part 2, etc., they will be assigned letters: A, B, C, etc. You will be able to download Parts A through D for free, but you'll have to fight for your right to Part E.
Haha I like this
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Old 10-09-2025, 10:58 AM   #659 (permalink)
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A guy runs into a friend on the street. After the usual greetings:

Guy: So what's new with you?

Friend: I'm taking a carpenters class

Guy: That's interesting. Have you made anything yet?

Friend: No,

Guy: Why not?

Friend: We've only just begun.
Last edited by Drjohnrock; 12-29-2025 at 12:52 PM.
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Old 11-29-2025, 10:46 PM   #660 (permalink)
 
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Talking
If there is anyone else here who has unlimited free calling like I do,try this line..

270-558-1710

Its a bot and shes got nothing nice to say! (U have been warned )
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