Things Not To Say On/At:

LoathsomePete · 07-06-2009, 02:44 PM

Here's a thread to channel your vulgar and crude side. Essentially this is the thread where you can say the worst possible things you can think of, in an imaginary scenario.

Here's two of mine:

Things Not to Say to A Judge:

"I swear to God judge, she didn't taste 15"

Things Not To Say on A First Date:

"Be right back, I gotta puke piss out my cunt fucker"

simplephysics · 07-06-2009, 03:52 PM

To the police:
"What's in your trunk sir?"
"I'm not telling until you guess first"

anticipation · 07-06-2009, 03:55 PM

To the police:
I have weed in my pocket.

During An Interview:
Interviewer: So what would you say your biggest strength is?
Interviewee: Uh, this one time I lifted a wet towel with my erection. It wasn't even one of those tiny washcloths either, it was a full-length shower towel. Real deal, bro.

Bulldog · 07-06-2009, 04:19 PM

To your girlfriend's parents:

"Don't worry, I'll have her home by 11. I'll be done by then."

jackhammer · 07-06-2009, 04:21 PM

First time proffering anal:

Up the bum, No babies.

mr dave · 07-06-2009, 04:42 PM

from a girlfriend during sex

i like that you haven't shaved in a few days... it reminds me of my uncle.

asshat · 07-06-2009, 05:09 PM

offensive jewellery store name and advertising slogan

The Eternal Jeweller has the "final solution" to all your jewellery needs.

Freebase Dali · 07-06-2009, 05:09 PM

When robbing a bank:

Please.

After a rape:

Thanks.

LoathsomePete · 07-06-2009, 06:52 PM

I think I can match your rape one

"now now, let's not turn this rape into murder"

Freebase Dali · 07-06-2009, 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoathsomePete

I think I can match your rape one

"now now, let's not turn this rape into murder"

Raped.
To death

07-06-2009, 02:44 PM	#1 (permalink)
LoathsomePete Cardboard Box Realtor Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Hobb's End Posts: 7,648	Things Not To Say On/At: Here's a thread to channel your vulgar and crude side. Essentially this is the thread where you can say the worst possible things you can think of, in an imaginary scenario. Here's two of mine: Things Not to Say to A Judge: "I swear to God judge, she didn't taste 15" Things Not To Say on A First Date: "Be right back, I gotta puke piss out my cunt fucker" __________________ Last.FM 101 Albums That May Not Change Your Life, But I Really Like And You Might Too

07-06-2009, 04:21 PM	#5 (permalink)
jackhammer Ba and Be. Join Date: May 2007 Location: This Is England Posts: 17,331	First time proffering anal: Up the bum, No babies. __________________ It be my music and film collection. “A cynic by experience, a romantic by inclination and now a hero by necessity.”

07-06-2009, 05:09 PM	#7 (permalink)
asshat king of sex Join Date: May 2009 Location: canada Posts: 331	offensive jewellery store name and advertising slogan The Eternal Jeweller has the "final solution" to all your jewellery needs. __________________ Rye Catcher II: Electric Boogaloo http://oldhickory666.blogspot.com/

07-06-2009, 05:09 PM	#8 (permalink)
Freebase Dali Partying on the inside Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 5,584	When robbing a bank: Please. After a rape: Thanks. __________________ Last edited by Freebase Dali; 07-06-2009 at 05:18 PM.

07-06-2009, 06:52 PM	#9 (permalink)
LoathsomePete Cardboard Box Realtor Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Hobb's End Posts: 7,648	I think I can match your rape one "now now, let's not turn this rape into murder" __________________ Last.FM 101 Albums That May Not Change Your Life, But I Really Like And You Might Too

07-06-2009, 03:55 PM	#3 (permalink)
anticipation Music Addict Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 3,565	To the police: I have weed in my pocket. During An Interview: Interviewer: So what would you say your biggest strength is? Interviewee: Uh, this one time I lifted a wet towel with my erection. It wasn't even one of those tiny washcloths either, it was a full-length shower towel. Real deal, bro.

07-06-2009, 04:19 PM	#4 (permalink)
Bulldog why bother? Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: UK Posts: 4,840	To your girlfriend's parents: "Don't worry, I'll have her home by 11. I'll be done by then."