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A man once asked God: "What is a million years to you?"
God replied "A second." The man then asked God: "What is a million dollars to you?" God replied "A penny." The man then asked God: "Can I have a penny?" God replied: "Sure, in a second." |
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Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school. She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question. "Who is the creator of the universe?" Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. Josey jumped and yelled, "God almighty!" The teacher congratulated her. A little later the teacher asked her another question, "Tell me who is our lord and savior?" Joe poked Josey again and she yelled out, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher congratulated her again. Later on the teacher asked, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 26th child?" Joe poked Josey again and she shouted, "If you stick that thing in me again, I'll snap it in half and stick it up your ass!"
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A man walks into a bar. And says to the bartender, "bet you one free beer I can make that horse laugh." The bartender takes the bet and the man whispers something into the horses ear and it laughs.
The man gets his free beer and drinks it. Once he's done with the beer he says to the bartender, "I bet you another free beer I can make that horse cry." The bartender takes the bet. The man stands in front of the horse and makes a movement. The horse begins to cry. The man gets his free beer and starts to drink it. The bartender, bewildered, asks, "How did you get the horse to laugh?" "Told the horse I have a bigger dick than him." "How did you get the horse to cry?" "Showed him." |
Now that I'm back, time to plague you all again...
Sandwich walks into a bar. Barman scowls and says "We don't serve your kind here!" :laughing: |
What kinda music do you windmills listen to?
They're big metal fans. :) |
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