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Old 04-01-2014, 06:05 PM   #61 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by djchameleon View Post
Boo go away thought police.

No need to try to tell me what I thought about when I made that post.

The reason I felt bad is because I went straight to worse case scenario and that's why my reaction was to feel that way. I didn't sit back and think about it in depth to bring up other scenarios because I don't feel that greatly about it.

Can't you just chalk it up to us thinking about it in different ways and move along?
Of course I can. It was you who took a perfectly innocent joke and brought violence into it. I think more of fluffy bunnies and clouds and kittens playing with balls of string, y'see.
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Old 04-01-2014, 06:07 PM   #62 (permalink)
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Say relax one more time and this whole thread goes up in smoke!


I think he may mean it!!!
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Old 04-02-2014, 01:08 PM   #63 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by djchameleon View Post
I chuckled then felt bad at the same time.

Made me think of what kind of violence happened to her that she required one.
Maybe she forgot the mayo.
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Old 04-02-2014, 01:27 PM   #64 (permalink)
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Not really a "joke" but my dad used to say this a lot when I was growing up -

"Here I sit, brokenhearted,
tried to shit, but only farted"

It wasn't until my early 20s that I realized that this silly thing must have originated from this adorable song by these lovely young ladies ....

Spoiler for The Ronettes - "Here I Sit":


God damn it, dad.

He also used to use this slightly racist zinger to describe his bowel movements:

Spoiler for don't say I didn't warn you:
"Black is beautiful. I just shit a masterpiece!"


Classic dad joke:

"How many people are dead in the graveyard?"

Spoiler for how many? hurr hurr hurr:
All of them.
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Old 04-02-2014, 06:26 PM   #65 (permalink)
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Yeah I have a better cemetery joke:

Breaking news: A single-seater plane has just crashlanded in a graveyard. Police have so far recovered 844 bodies....
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Old 04-03-2014, 09:31 AM   #66 (permalink)
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Guess who's in the hospital?

Spoiler for Answer:
Sick people.



Did Elvis die?

Spoiler for Answer:
I hope so, they buried him.



Why did the man put his car in the oven?

Spoiler for Answer:
He wanted a hotrod.
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Old 04-03-2014, 09:55 AM   #67 (permalink)
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Why did the man put his car in the oven?

Spoiler for Answer:
He wanted a hotrod.
I think this would be funnier if it was his penis in the oven.
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Old 04-03-2014, 10:33 AM   #68 (permalink)
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I think this would be funnier if it was his penis in the oven.
Then it wouldn't be a dad joke like you said earlier you don't associate dick jokes with dad jokes.
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Old 04-03-2014, 10:48 AM   #69 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Janszoon View Post
I think this would be funnier if it was his penis in the oven.
Quote:
Originally Posted by djchameleon View Post
Then it wouldn't be a dad joke like you said earlier you don't associate dick jokes with dad jokes.
Yeah, I wouldn't tell that one to my daughter, but I'll use the dick version when I'm out drinking with friends.
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Old 04-03-2014, 11:19 AM   #70 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by djchameleon View Post
Then it wouldn't be a dad joke like you said earlier you don't associate dick jokes with dad jokes.
I didn't say it would still be a dad joke, I just said it would be funnier.
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