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Old 05-22-2014, 06:26 PM   #161 (permalink)
SOPHIE FOREVER
 
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Granted, but you're too large to fit in it.

I wish I could sing like The Residents.
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Old 05-22-2014, 06:34 PM   #162 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Frownland View Post
Granted, but you're too large to fit in it.

I wish I could sing like The Residents.


You can, but you're only big in Siberia.

I wish I wasn't a terrible artist.
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Old 05-22-2014, 06:40 PM   #163 (permalink)
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Granted, but you're too ahead of your time. No one gets the work you've dedicated your life to and you die penniless and unheard of.

I wish I could fit into the car that I was to big to fit in before.
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Old 05-22-2014, 06:42 PM   #164 (permalink)
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Granted, but now you're too small to qualify for a license and you can't drive anyway.

I wish I had more instruments.
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Old 05-22-2014, 06:45 PM   #165 (permalink)
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You ruin everything.

Granted, but you're a quadriplegic with no teeth.

I wish I didn't need sleep.
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Old 05-22-2014, 06:58 PM   #166 (permalink)
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If you give up sex forever, you'll no longer need sleep.

I wish my cat could talk to me.
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Old 05-22-2014, 07:28 PM   #167 (permalink)
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Could I just give up sex for like a week and not sleep for that week once in a while or something?

I wish my roommates, coworkers, employers, and just the general people I have to deal with in the real world weren't functioning on sub-human levels of intelligence.
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Old 05-22-2014, 08:23 PM   #168 (permalink)
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Granted, but you're functioning on sub-human levels of intelligence.

I wish I had a root beer fountain.
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Old 05-22-2014, 08:26 PM   #169 (permalink)
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They say stupid people are the happiest.

Granted but it's cut with toilet water.


I wish I was Jesus because **** it.
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Old 05-23-2014, 03:53 AM   #170 (permalink)
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Granted. You're tortured and executed while still young.

I wish I was better writer
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