Clubbed to death because a tweaker mistook you for a baby seal

Replace the head of the bear on your avatar with your head. Yeah.

Ran with scissors

Was run into by someone running with scissors.

Runs out of butter.

Given a substitute but can't believe it's not butter. Goes on an angry shooting spree. Gets killed by the cops.

insults a gypsy
gets cursed
Dies of anorexia

Listens to the Pixies
Gets orgasm
Heart attack from too strong orgasm

breast cancer.

...in my magnificent man boobs.

Peacefully, surrounded by friends and family, and Pixies playing in the background

Roasted alive on a giant grill.

Runs into a deranged fan of his journal who wants to wear his skin like last season's Versace.

buried alive under many many many brusselsprouts.

I ate your liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti

Beheaded with a spork.

lol liver.

Drunk skateboard accident. Ollies into a sewer hole. Devoured by rats

Trampled by a horde of Feminists.

Comes up with the world's greatest joke but dies laughing before he can share it.

Death by nurturing. Heh

A hungry boa constrictor escapes its cage

I'm flattered but it's a little weird that you're watching me get changed.

that was a terrible joke. move along, too drunk to find delete button thing

Lies. I saw that little dance you were doing for my benefit.

I'm gonna save you hear.

Stabbed by a unicorn.

Shot to death in a duel.

Plays Russian Roulette by himself.

Assimilated by the Borg

**** it dog, life's a risk.




Attempts daring stunt on a jetski. Engine malfunction leads to enormous explosion.

Drowns in the toilet.

Botched vasectomy

Drinks beers
Roommate puts viagra in beer
Small penile explosion
Bad blood loss
Go to hospital
Doctor perform surgery
Removes penis
Depressed
Joins tumblr support group
Kills self

Killed by Hate paper doll for skipping her.

Some sort of wave of mutilation

Huffed Raid

Snuff film

Sex with Miley Cyrus

Sex with Billy Ray Cyrus
:laughing:

Seriously, I'd an hero.

Brush teeth with toothpaste spiked with acid and now you think you're a glass of orange juice. Your caretaker drinks you one day and you die during the digestive process.