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Old 11-22-2014, 10:17 PM   #21 (permalink)
Maelian
 
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I wrote this poem
while I was on the toilet
it is a haiku

Next topic: birds
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Old 11-22-2014, 10:23 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Birds have wings to fly
They have wings to move in air
People suck at that

Next topic: Losing
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Old 11-22-2014, 10:24 PM   #23 (permalink)
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somebody screwed me
or perhaps I screwed myself
either way I lost

next topic: diarrhea
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Old 11-22-2014, 10:29 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Hits at the worst times
When you're least expecting it
Gunk flies out your ass

Next topic: Vomit
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Old 11-22-2014, 10:40 PM   #25 (permalink)
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I had just written this masterpiece about diarrhea...

Darn! I have the runs
and I don't think I'll make it.
****. I soiled my pants.

...but you were faster than me.

Now I'll focus on vomit:

My sour belly
warns me with a nasty burp.
I'm gonna vomit!

Subject: When you see a living lobster in a water tank at a Chinese restaurant and you feel really guilty because you know its days are numbered.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neapolitan:
If a chicken was smart enough to be able to speak English and run in a geometric pattern, then I think it should be smart enough to dial 911 (999) before getting the axe, and scream to the operator, "Something must be done! Something must be done!"
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Old 11-22-2014, 10:42 PM   #26 (permalink)
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You'll be boiled alive
They say you're delicious
****ing metal, dude

Witnessing a hit and run but you won't talk to the police cuz no snitchin.
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Old 11-22-2014, 10:43 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Lobsters can suck it
I saw a lobster today
It flipped me the bird

Oatmeal

Edit: Don't care. Already did this over three times cause people posted just before me, and I'm not doing it again. If I were a mod I'd just delete Frownland's post.
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There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 11-22-2014, 11:10 PM   #28 (permalink)
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Witnessing a hit and run but you won't talk to the police cuz no snitchin:

I saw the driver
run that girl down and leave, but
I don't squeal to pigs.

Oatmeal:

I love cooked oatmeal
hot and sweet with brown sugar
stirred into dark swirls.

Next topic: when you give into kleptomaniacal urges to steal something petty
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neapolitan:
If a chicken was smart enough to be able to speak English and run in a geometric pattern, then I think it should be smart enough to dial 911 (999) before getting the axe, and scream to the operator, "Something must be done! Something must be done!"
Last edited by VEGANGELICA; 11-22-2014 at 11:16 PM. Reason: I keep changing my next topic! Sorry!
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Old 11-22-2014, 11:27 PM   #29 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Batlord View Post
Oatmeal
Horse's feed bag grain
tasteless breakfast time for those
who can trust Quakers!?

edit: took a while to write a haiku and plug at the same time.


Quote:
Originally Posted by VEGANGELICA View Post
Next topic: when you give into kleptomaniacal urges to steal something petty
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Actually, I like you a lot, Nea. That's why I treat you like ****. It's the MB way.

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Old 11-22-2014, 11:41 PM   #30 (permalink)
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I must have it now
I would kill to get that ****
I need my next fix

Next Topic: Stupid essays for honors classes
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