The haiku game
 

You all know what a haiku is. 5-7-5. The game goes thusly: You name a theme, black metal, for instance. Then the person below you writes a haiku about black metal:

"I like black metal
Burzum and Mayhem, you know?
I'm more krieg than you"

First theme: money

Give me your money
Put it in the ****ing bag
Don't call the police

Heroin

I've never used it
And probably never will
But you never know

War

Whaat is it good for
Absolutely nothing. Soo...
I've watched Rush Hour.

The '80s

Awful fashion trends
The cars were crazy ugly
Some good music though

Board games

I'm about to lose
There's no way out of this ****
Time to flip the board

Cell phones

I've never had one
It would have been useful but
I don't have money

A haunted desert

Oh ****, it's a ghost
Better uproot this cactus
To defend myself

Sharks

A haunted desert?
Sounds like a Lovecraft story
The Nameless City?

EDIT: I'll just pass on sharks to the next person.

Thanks Steven Spielberg
Now they're punching my nose but
I'm still eating them

You come home from a night of drinking to find your dead wife but you're still horny.

It's so cold and stiff
But that doesn't worry me
Because you're still warm

When you need to get the mother****er on the phone

Deal's going down now
I have no more faith in you
Call me you *******

The evil media and poor Bill Cosby.

Lying rape victims
Bill Cosby is innocent
L O L drama

Dick stuck in your pocket pussy.

I tried to get off
Now I cannot get it off
At least it won't leave

Waiting on hold for an hour with customer service

Why play cheesy songs?
I can tell you're not coming.
I might just hang up.

When you spill food on your shirt.

Oh god, **** this ****
I just washed this stupid thing
Eh, who ****ing cares?

Trannies

Adam's apple? Check.
Whatever, she has boobies.
Damn! Tricked again.

When you have a wedgy

My underwear crawls
stealthily on upward
why does it do this

next theme: turtles

Oh, turtle power
Great heroes on a half-shell
Defeat the Shredder

Truckers

They all have nicknames
Like, go Cousin Lover 7
Unnecessary

Next topic: Haikus

I wrote this poem
while I was on the toilet
it is a haiku

Next topic: birds

Birds have wings to fly
They have wings to move in air
People suck at that

Next topic: Losing

somebody screwed me
or perhaps I screwed myself
either way I lost

next topic: diarrhea

Hits at the worst times
When you're least expecting it
Gunk flies out your ass

Next topic: Vomit

I had just written this masterpiece about diarrhea...

Darn! I have the runs
and I don't think I'll make it.
****. I soiled my pants. :(

...but you were faster than me.

Now I'll focus on vomit:

My sour belly
warns me with a nasty burp.
I'm gonna vomit!

Subject: When you see a living lobster in a water tank at a Chinese restaurant and you feel really guilty because you know its days are numbered.

You'll be boiled alive
They say you're delicious
****ing metal, dude

Witnessing a hit and run but you won't talk to the police cuz no snitchin.

Lobsters can suck it
I saw a lobster today
It flipped me the bird

Oatmeal

Edit: Don't care. Already did this over three times cause people posted just before me, and I'm not doing it again. If I were a mod I'd just delete Frownland's post.

Witnessing a hit and run but you won't talk to the police cuz no snitchin:

I saw the driver
run that girl down and leave, but
I don't squeal to pigs.

Oatmeal:

I love cooked oatmeal
hot and sweet with brown sugar
stirred into dark swirls.

Next topic: when you give into kleptomaniacal urges to steal something petty

Horse's feed bag grain
tasteless breakfast time for those
who can trust Quakers!?

edit: took a while to write a haiku and plug at the same time.

I must have it now
I would kill to get that ****
I need my next fix

Next Topic: Stupid essays for honors classes

To be or not to
That is the subject of this-
"Incomplete Shakespeare"

Next topic: fast food

McDonald's burgers
****, is this a heart attack?
They tasted good, though

Guitars

Diddly-diddly-doo!
Widdly-widdly-wah-wah-wah!
Thank you, San Dimas!

Jay and Silent Bob

Fuck motherfuck shit
Fuckin motherfuckin cunt
Shit fuck fuck shit weed

Hangover

My head is pounding
Did I really drink this much?
And I'm underage

'80s metal

Diddly-diddly-doo!
Widdly-widdly-wah-wah-wah!
Thank you, San Dimas!

http://www.atheistnetwork2.com/image...ace_smiley.png

Corpses

Take a damn shower
Look at me when I'm talking
You're grounded, son

Natural catastrophes and their sociopolitical persecution.

Huh? **** if I know
What Frownland's talking about
God damn college boys

A kick to the nuts

How many people are using their fingers to count syllables!?

<_<

>_>