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OccultHawk 07-28-2019 12:54 PM

Let Me Do Your Fortune
 
Ask me any question about your future and I will tell you EXACTLY what’s going to happen.

The Batlord 07-28-2019 01:03 PM

Will I ever become a mod?

OccultHawk 07-28-2019 01:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doug McClasky (Post 2068457)
Will I ever become a mod?

No. Not on this or any other forum, ever.

The Batlord 07-28-2019 01:20 PM

Will I ever put peanut butter on my penis and try to get my dog to lick it off?

OccultHawk 07-28-2019 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doug McClasky (Post 2068463)
Will I ever put peanut butter on my penis and try to get my dog to lick it off?

You will never own a dog.

Exo 07-28-2019 01:31 PM

Will I ever move away from NJ?

The Batlord 07-28-2019 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OccultHawk (Post 2068465)
You will never own a dog.

Personally? Cause there's a dog in the house right now for me to molest.

OccultHawk 07-28-2019 02:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Exo (Post 2068466)
Will I ever move away from NJ?

Yes. You will move to Brooklyn, NY in May, 2023 to run the second in a chain of record stores expanded from the one you currently work at. By 2030 there will be 22 such stores spread across the United States (and one in Montreal) and you will be the north east regional manager and a 25% stake holder earning you around $250,000 a year. A few years later the company will also own live music venues and a record label. You will continue to live in Brooklyn until you retire in the Catskills.

OccultHawk 07-28-2019 02:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doug McClasky (Post 2068469)
Personally? Cause there's a dog in the house right now for me to molest.

Personally.

The Batlord 07-28-2019 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OccultHawk (Post 2068482)
Yes. You will move to Brooklyn, NY in May, 2023 to run the second in a chain of record stores expanded from the one you currently work at. By 2030 there will be 22 such stores spread across the United States (and one in Montreal) and you will be the north east regional manager and a 25% stake holder earning you around $250,000 a year. A few years later the company will also own live music venues and a record label. You will continue to live in Brooklyn until you retire in the Catskills.

Will Exo give me a job?

Quote:

Originally Posted by OccultHawk (Post 2068483)
Personally.

Reasonable. I kinda don't want to own a dog or cat on my own for the same reason I don't trust myself to own a kid. Will I ever get a blowjob from my mom's dog?


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