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Old 05-07-2011, 06:20 PM   #71 (permalink)
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Maybe the help services available for people living with autism where I live are more successful. Maybe our education system is better. I don't know. I honestly thought The Netherlands would be way ahead of us in terms of special education. But I really do hope that you can one day seek out some help services to help you achieve a life that is not "ruined" by ASD. Judging you purely on your posts from this forum, you seem like a very intelligent, kind, and friendly guy who I think I would like very much in real life and who I think is capable of many interesting and useful things. Of course I don't know you in real life, but I get autistic kids who wet their pants until they're 18 years of age and who can't talk (non-verbal) until they reach their mid-twenties or even thirties. Even they have managed to find their place in society. I'm not being idealistic, because I do see cases of individuals with autism who DO struggle. But it still saddens me to think that you believe it has ruined your life. Anyway, mostly it is none of my business, as you're not one of my students, but I do wish you luck in everything.
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Old 05-07-2011, 06:40 PM   #72 (permalink)
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SK - just when you got interesting about what makes you tick musically, you went quite and stopped posting!

Seriously get your **** together and just pop in the lounge once in a while. It is so easy to get bogged down in that area of the forum but it exists on MB and it is both a help and a distraction for many on here.

I have heard far far worse things said to others on here within a personal context but as others have said before me- they don't really know you personally so don't let it bother you.

Hold back a little on personal stuff on a public forum because you are putting it all out there and people will always judge others whether merited or not.

The best advice I can honestly give you? Grow a pair and don't strive to gain acceptance. Just be yourself. The only person who has to answer to them self is you.
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Old 05-07-2011, 08:02 PM   #73 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by s_k View Post
@ Neapolitan: This is going to sound a bit odd, but I am too autistic (google again ) to have real insight in what others feel. My cause --> effect system is also lacking. So I wouldn't know if what you say is true. I sure as hell know though that there's a couple of very frustrated people here and I think this definitely has something to do with the way they respond to me. Why else would they bother?
Don't look at it emotionally. Look at it logically. Sometimes it isn't all your fault.

You have to learn other people have issues and challenges too. You admit you have ASC. You have to learn other people have issues too, like angry people have anger issues. Don't be upset and don't blame yourself all the time.
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Old 05-08-2011, 03:54 AM   #74 (permalink)
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Maybe the help services available for people living with autism where I live are more successful. Maybe our education system is better. I don't know. I honestly thought The Netherlands would be way ahead of us in terms of special education.
I think we're pretty good, it's definitely not the schools or the psychical treatment that's not good. It's just that no boss feels the urge to hire someone who needs some extra 'attention'. They rather choose the path of least resistance...

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But I really do hope that you can one day seek out some help services to help you achieve a life that is not "ruined" by ASD.
You may find this hard to believe, but I know a lot, a lot of autists and they all keep running into brick walls of misunderstanding and failure. I am actually one of the most happy autists I know. The others are all fed up with life, sometimes suicidal, don't get out of bed. Yes some of them do have jobs, but they don't have a life anymore. It's awful to look at. I am pretty satisfied with what I've achieved so far and I don't mind that these achievements are not on paper and not on my paycheck.

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Judging you purely on your posts from this forum, you seem like a very intelligent, kind, and friendly guy who I think I would like very much in real life and who I think is capable of many interesting and useful things. Of course I don't know you in real life, but I get autistic kids who wet their pants until they're 18 years of age and who can't talk (non-verbal) until they reach their mid-twenties or even thirties.
I like to think I am. I get told I am. I can't really say for myself.
But thanks. I sure wish you lived in the same country as I do .
Right, now I'm going to tell you something that's going to sound ridiculous, but this is the way I see it, from experience. I think you can better be someone who's obviously autistic or has down syndrome or something like that, than 'seem' normal. Aspergers is probably the worst form of autism for the person who has to live with it. You seem normal, but you keep having problems that don't seem to match with your level of intelligence. I'm not the prototype mathematical autist, if you know what I mean. So I'm not on autism forums myself. My ex-girlfriend is and the stories you hear are gruesome. Really nice and intelligent people get locked up in mental facilities because they just go bezerk. These people have finished high school in the highest level (it works a bit different here, I guess) and are very capable to have a good conversation, but they keep running into problems because, since they come over pretty normal, people expect more from them than they can deliver.
If you drool and pee, people don't expect anything from you and people are confronted with your disability all the time. In my case, people don't get confronted with my disability until it's too late, and that's the whole problem. I cannot imagine this is not the case where you live. Yes the 'classic' autists get all the help they need, but the 'not so obvious' ones have to struggle through live themselves.
There isn't even a real program here for adult autists. Just for kids. And I know from what I've read that this is a world wide issue.. It seems that when you've turned 18, people think "He got so far, He'll manage". But life only gets started by then...

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But it still saddens me to think that you believe it has ruined your life.
Well I've got my life back on track, completely. Being able to function quite normally in an environment I shape myself. It's a pity though that there's still people who think I'm making stuff up. It's a vicious circle. If I do what's life expects from me, I get in trouble. If I do what I can do, people will call me lazy. It's been like that forever.

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Anyway, mostly it is none of my business, as you're not one of my students, but I do wish you luck in everything.
Ask anything if you feel like it. That's allright.
You're not going to make me agree with you, I've been doing this business for a while now . But if you have any questions, even if only for your own education, feel free to ask. I really don't mind.

I'd like to add; This is a lot of text and I really had to try hard to write in English and keep my thoughts together. I may seem a bit harsh about the down syndrome people/classic autist people but I really don't mean to be.
I've worked with them myself for three before I got fired for no reason (with those awful words: We have more work on you than we have on the people with down syndrome... Yeah, great man).
These are strange things you know, everyone I worked with blocked me, they turn their heads away when I meet them and the one girl I am still in contact with says the stuff they say about me is too awful to be true. I'm treated like a criminal but I have no idea what I've done wrong.
I think it's pretty logical that I'm not looking for a 'regular' job right now. These things really destroy you. By the way, the 'reintegration facility' we have here for people who can't get a job the 'normal way' told me they couldn't help me. I am, and I've got this on paper 'unemployable'.

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Originally Posted by jackhammer View Post
SK - just when you got interesting about what makes you tick musically, you went quite and stopped posting!
Still here...

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Seriously get your **** together and just pop in the lounge once in a while. It is so easy to get bogged down in that area of the forum but it exists on MB and it is both a help and a distraction for many on here.
Yeah that's kind of my plan.
Sort of tough as there's so much people I really like a lot.
I'd love to hear more about their lives. But apparently I should be less open about myself, which I can't. It's always one or the other with me. There's no 'middle'.

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I have heard far far worse things said to others on here within a personal context but as others have said before me- they don't really know you personally so don't let it bother you.
Why do they bother writing it down then?
Point is, this is the only thing you can get me with, because I've heard it so much in real life it has become something I fight against. It's hard to ignore.

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Hold back a little on personal stuff on a public forum because you are putting it all out there and people will always judge others whether merited or not.
I know you're right. But I can't. So I think I should just turn to the music sections.

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The best advice I can honestly give you? Grow a pair and don't strive to gain acceptance. Just be yourself. The only person who has to answer to them self is you.
When I look around me and see how lonely most people are, I really do strive to gain acceptance. This is easy in real life as I'm very well capable of keeping 'good' and 'bad' people or groups apart. It's just that this isn't possible on a forum. And it definitely wouldn't be the first time I left a forum because of one or two persons getting on my nerves.
I mean, I could say you're right. But say I can't just NOT feel sad about the stuff that is said. Then what should I do? I mean, even if I don't respond to it it hurts me just the same.

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Originally Posted by Neapolitan View Post
Don't look at it emotionally. Look at it logically. Sometimes it isn't all your fault.
Well, to be honest. None of this is my fault .
It's not like I asked to be born with autism.

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Don't be upset and don't blame yourself all the time.
It's a bit double. I cannot blame myself, but I cannot deny that the problem lies within me.
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Old 05-09-2011, 12:41 PM   #75 (permalink)
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Hey Guys,

There's too many people here who really really misunderstand me.
I don't think it's going to end well. So I think I'm going to leave you guys.
It's been really great, I've learned a lot about music and I'll sure be checking the music topics for information in the future, but it seems my personality doesn't fit in with everyone here. It's always been like this and altough I thought the amount of postings I've done was definitely an achievement (at least an improvement compared to any other forum I've been to), I really don't want to **** things up here by staying.

There's some really very nice people here I'd love to stay in touch with.
I've got this e-mail address that's full of spam anyway. I'm going to replace that soon, so I don't mind posting it here. If anyone wants to keep in touch and I sure hope this is going to happen, please contact me at stijn@analogaudio.nl.

I'm sorry folks, I've done what I could.
Sounds like someone needs a hug no? What are you talking about Sk everyone here likes you as far as I can tell. Dont jump to conclusions and get all butt hurt over nothing. I see you havent left so maybe you have resovled the issue by now. Anyway I hope you stick around I give you a lot of **** about your smiley usage but your just a smiley ****er I guess...hang in there
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Old 05-09-2011, 12:43 PM   #76 (permalink)
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Hahaha, you sort of missed the whole issue, mate.
But thanks eitherway .
You might want to read it all over (check this topic and the spill your guts topic) but if you don't mind, the issue has been solved by now so... It's cool.
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Old 05-09-2011, 12:45 PM   #77 (permalink)
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Hahaha, you sort of missed the whole issue, mate.
But thanks eitherway .
You might want to read it all over (check this topic and the spill your guts topic) but if you don't mind, the issue has been solved by now so... It's cool.
Oh well nevermind then man no worries...everythings good and smileyful then.
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Old 05-09-2011, 12:54 PM   #78 (permalink)
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Believe me, I didn't use many smileys the last couple of days.
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Old 05-09-2011, 01:07 PM   #79 (permalink)
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Welcome to musicbanter!!!
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Old 05-09-2011, 01:25 PM   #80 (permalink)
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Whahaha, the sarcasm is killing me
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