Trollheart

I am, and Rubber Soul is older than I am. Kid.

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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

Frownland

1. Where were you when JFK was shot?


Dead.

2. What's your favourite tipple (drink)?

Whiskey

3. What's your eyesight like?


I need glasses for anything more than an arm's length away.

4. Generally, do you trust people or are you always looking to see what their angle is?

Neither: I'm already onto everyone's game.

5. If you could go on a date with one celebrity who would it be?

I hear Earl Sweatshirt's mom is single

6. If you could be in - and survive - one historical battle which one would it be?

Any Battles show from when they dropped Gliss Drop will do.

And now, some nonsense questions again:

1. Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?

Ask em

2. When will there be a harvest for the world?

When aliens decide to eat us.

3. Have you come here to play Jesus to the lepers in your head?

I'm just a carpenter.

4. Why can't I get no Tang?

You're allergic

5. How can I protect you in this crazy world?

Kill your boss.

6. What do you want from me?

#5

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Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth.

ando here

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ribbons

1. Where were you when JFK was shot?
Twinkling in my father’s eye.

2. What's your favourite tipple (drink)?
Non-alcoholic: Manhattan Special espresso soda. Alcoholic: Samuel Smith chocolate oatmeal stout.

3. What's your eyesight like?
20/15 (last time checked) but due to eyestrain I wear 1.50 reading glasses.

4. Generally, do you trust people or are you always looking to see what their angle is?
I am very trusting by nature and can easily see the best in most people, but experience has made me a little gun-shy.

5. If you could go on a date with one celebrity who would it be?
‘70s Paul McCartney (with the mullet)

6. If you could be in - and survive - one historical battle which one would it be?
Battle of Britain (an elderly relative in Hythe, Kent has memories of the time)

And now, some nonsense questions again:

1. Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?
Because they know they have a home with me.


2. When will there be a harvest for the world?
the 12th of Never

3. Have you come here to play Jesus to the lepers in your head?
Why bother? Lepers never change their spots.

4. Why can't I get no Tang?
Because you’re not an astronaut, and astronauts get all the Tang.

5. How can I protect you in this crazy world?
Kill me now. That might work.

6. What do you want from me?
Simpsons memes.

The Batlord

1. Where were you when JFK was shot?

[redacted]

2. What's your favourite tipple (drink)?

Cold water but also malt liquor.

3. What's your eyesight like?

It's a pretty unique sense but I guess it's most like hearing.

4. Generally, do you trust people or are you always looking to see what their angle is?

I go mostly on vibes. If you seem cool I'm pretty trusting but if you seem off I will hyper fixate on your bull**** like you're perpetually on trial.

5. If you could go on a date with one celebrity who would it be?

Bernie just so he can get the gay vote.

6. If you could be in - and survive - one historical battle which one would it be?

Kursk. Sounds like a bad time but I ****ing love tanks and watching T-34s and KVs show Nazis their tanks are overrated would own. Soviet tanks deserve so much love.

Or maybe Caesar in his prime. Don't know enough to know which battle to pick though. I just want to see Roman legions in action tbh. Or maybe when Rome beat Macedon cause I'd love to see the Roman legion go up against the Macedonian phalanx. I mean both formations are so similar but so different and both were the super weapons of the ancient world. I want to see what actually happened when they met on the field.

I mean the legions conquered Macedon and the rest of the known world but the Macedonian phalanx could have just poked them to death with really long sticks so how did the guys with short swords win?

I mean I know the legion was more flexible than the phalanx as far as ground it could fight on but Jesus Christ the idea of charging into a Macedonian phalanx, a ****ing porcupine of death, is unthinkable. How professional a soldier do you need to be to look at your rinkidink sword and a wall of spears longer than two tall men and think "Yeah I'll have a piece of that"?

And now, some nonsense questions again:

1. Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?

I took up falconry.

2. When will there be a harvest for the world?

WHEN THE PROLETARIAT SEIZE THE MEANS OF PRODUCTION AND SHAKE OFF THEIR CHAINS!

3. Have you come here to play Jesus to the lepers in your head?

The lepers in my head would would rickroll Jesus.

4. Why can't I get no Tang?

You didn't protect ya neck.

5. How can I protect you in this crazy world?

Send guns.

6. What do you want from me?

Bullets.

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jadis

1. Where were you when JFK was shot?


Enrolled in a flight school, showing zero interest in being able to land a plane (that was the big one of our lifetimes duh)

2. What's your favourite tipple (drink)?


Used to be white in the summer, Guinness when you're out with the guys... but the pandemic changed all that. Don't feel like having any alcohol

3. What's your eyesight like?


Alright

4. Generally, do you trust people or are you always looking to see what their angle is?


I love being open with people but in professional contexts it's a matter of playing a certain role, maintaining a distance, being on guard etc.

5. If you could go on a date with one celebrity who would it be?


The lady from Mad Men, you know which one.

6. If you could be in - and survive - one historical battle which one would it be?


The Battle of Preston (1648), where Cromwell's New Model Army prevailed over the royalist forces. Very unspectacular but I'm fascinated with the English Civil Wars these days and that would've been at a particularly interesting time to be in the NMA.

BassoonPlatoon

Jon Hamm?

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Snowy owls bark like dogs.

jadis

Some great "gay Don Draper" bits in here


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mE7avUXCEdQ

SGR

1. Where were you when JFK was shot?


Somewhere in my grandfather's testicles.

2. What's your favourite tipple (drink)?

Four Roses Single Barrel, neat

3. What's your eyesight like?


Hot garbage, since I look at computer screens all day

4. Generally, do you trust people or are you always looking to see what their angle is?

I don't trust strangers.

5. If you could go on a date with one celebrity who would it be?

Peyton List

6. If you could be in - and survive - one historical battle which one would it be?

Stalingrad

And now, some nonsense questions again:

1. Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?

My putrefying flesh! Damn turkey vultures!

2. When will there be a harvest for the world?

After the next great flood

3. Have you come here to play Jesus to the lepers in your head?

Give me the cross, and I'll give them a show

4. Why can't I get no Tang?

Because that damn no good orangutan who used to be on the box took it all!

5. How can I protect you in this crazy world?

Sell me your vinyl

6. What do you want from me?

To stop asking me so many questions!

Frownland

You should try Evan Williams Single Barrel Vintage. Makes Four Roses look like Canadian Crest.

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Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth.